Betsy was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma cancer on July 23, 2020. A mass was also detected in her colon. She did radiation to reduce the lung tumor and free up her breathing. But the colon cancer was very aggressive and moved to the liver and bones as well. Chemo would only postpone her death possibly a couple months at the cost of a lot of pain. So we chose to not do chemo After 12 days in the hospital, Betsy came home. Then 6 days later we were evacuated due to the California forest fires. 9 days later we finally got home again.
Betsy soon was in hospice care waiting to die. But she was home. We got to spend a few weeks together sitting on our deck watching the view and just being together. She eventually got worse and the only thing I could do was give her more morphine to dull the pain. Eventually she basically starved to death because the colon cancer blocked her from taking in any food or drink.
Betsy breathed her last breath on earth Wednesday October 21st of 2020 at 2:05 am. I got to hold her hand and stroke her hair till her last breath. The rest of this journal is about memories of Betsy, and about those left behind; the thoughts, feelings, experiences of moving through the stages of care giving and grief.