Frankie The Pea

Welcome to Frankie's web page. Frankie, who is 4 years old, was diagnosed with leukemia (ALL) on April 27, 2005. This is the story of her journey from cancer patient to cancer survivor. Thanks for joining us in the fight for her life.

I watch you playing
Without a care;
It's hard to believe
The cancer is there.

You look so bright,
So happy and well,
If someone new met you
They couldn't tell.

Your strength is amazing,
Your courage so strong,
You've fought this disease
So well for so long.

It's from your strength
That I draw mine;
I know you'll come through this;
It'll just take time.
Carry on smiling,
I will too,
Through the hard times
I'll carry you.

You are my world,
The air that I breathe,
I know in my heart
You'll never leave.

Keep strong my love,
The battle has begun,
But with your strength
It will be won.

Lena Ford

Journal

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 2:54 PM CDT

Well, finally I am back.

I have been dragging my feet about this last entry because it is so hard. It is hard to know what to say, hard to say goodbye, hard to find a proper way to close this book and hard to be strong enough to close it. Plus, every time it gets close to a clinic visit (next Tuesday) I wonder “should I wait until after that just in case?” Pessimistic, I know, but it’s a weird have-a-journal-and-you-won’t-need-it kind of a thing. Also, so many people have told me they enjoy my journals and the things that I write, and I am feeling pressure that this, the last entry, be spectacular. Thus, I have done nothing. So, if you will forgive me for this mundane, non-spectacular closing entry, I’ll get on with it. And make sure to check the pictures for fun birthday shots.

This journal has been a lifeline for me for the past almost three years. It has kept me in touch with all of you, has kept an accurate record of Frankie’s challenges, has provided me with an outlet for my fears and joys and has given me you a place to write to me and “prop me up” when I needed support. In a lot of ways, it would be fun to keep it up – I still like the record of our lives and I still like the communication I receive from you. However, having it is part of our lives “living WITH cancer in the house”. I would never have started a journal if not for “cancer in the house” and now that we are SURVIVORS, I find myself not wanting to do things that we only did when we were WITH cancer – and that’s where this journal falls.

I want life after cancer to be similar to life before cancer – and much of it is. I haven’t changed the way we live, our friends, our interests, or our home. What has changed is our perspective. We are grateful for each healthy day, we are grateful that we are all still here, happy, loving one another. We appreciate others sorrow, feel their pain and celebrate their joys more deeply after having experienced something so intense as cancer in our house. We will offer more support, both physically and financially, to others who are walking in the shoes that we just recently removed. And we will thank God each day for His grace in choosing Frankie to be ours, for the fact that her survival was in His plan, and for His giving us all of you to support us and carry us through this ordeal. Because surely you know that THAT IS what you did. Every person who ever read this journal, ever called us, made us a meal, prayed for us, talked about us, sent us a “care package”, visited us and loved us has been responsible for our coming through this intact. This is the type of situation that can break you. But it didn’t break us, and for that, we thank you so very much.

And to Frankie – darling girl, I hope you are reading this when you are a teenager – and probably giving me grief because I gave my mom plenty and karma is a “you-know-what” – and feeling very proud of yourself. You made it through an ordeal that very very few people are asked to endure (thankfully) and you did it with such spunk, joy, delightful silliness and strength. This disease did not get the better of you in any sense of the word. Even when you were down, you were never out. I marveled at your ability to find joy in the oddest of circumstances – and you will see examples of that all through this journal. You didn’t whine and moan your way through your chemotherapy – you danced and sang! So if life gets you down, if things seem tough or even impossible, just remember, you’ve stared death in the face and told it to beat it! You won the biggest fight of your life already, so enjoy this life that you worked so hard to have.
And now, the Deutsch’s are going to move into obscurity, living our regular life. Please pray that we will never need Caringbridge again, but know that we are grateful that it existed for us when we did.

Love, the Survivors!
Deanna, Tony, Danny
And Frankie the Pea, cancer Survivor

Hospital Information:

Children's Hospital of Wisconsin
9000 W. Wisconsin Avenue
Milwaukee, WI 53201-1997
414-266-2000

Links:

E-mail Author: dldeutsch@centurytel.net

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Note: The foregoing information was authored by the patient, parent or guardian, or other parties who are solely responsible for the content. Such announcements or their content are not necessarily endorsed by CaringBridge, Inc. or any sponsoring agent.  This information does not confirm that anyone is or was actually a patient at any facility.