"Serenity is not freedom from the storm,
but peace within the storm."



Clyde Green
Marg Strangman
Kevin Terry
Fred Schappert
Robert Williams
John Borre
Mike Messinger
Diane Phillips, Brain Hospice
Lori Arquilla Andersen
Laura Adams
Drew-B-Bear
Think About Brain Tumors - Fred & Cheri Schappert
Shannon O'Brien
John Collins
Eric Buss
Hadley Fox
Pam Cameron Patient Name: cameron Password: pam1234
Matt Downey
Matt Hofstrom
Graham Barton
Cindi Rixey Brain Tumor Action Network
Jeannie DeCourcey
Daniel Kidd

Different Cancers/Disorders:
Jacob Duckworth
Joseph Shipley



"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart
Try to love the questions themselves ...
Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given,
Because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually without noticing it,
Live along some distant day into the answers."

Rainer Maria Rilke




"The reason most people fail instead of succeed
is that they give up what they want most
for what they want at the moment."
Z's favorite BDAD shirt.

Journal

Saturday, August 29, 2015 11:14 PM CDT

Brave Wings
Ten Years Without Dave




Brave does not mean unafraid.
I am brave.
But I have been very afraid.
Many times.

Learning to live without someone, well...
this is the part where
you find out what you're made of.



Dave's dying has changed me.
Changed everything, really.

None for the best,
no, not the best.

But some are good.
Yes, there is good.

I am brave.
Kenny, Zach, Kate...
they are brave,
strong.

Strong, real, true,
authentic.

Would we be if Dave were here?
I think so.
But the quality would be
different.

Growth borne of pain
is different than
growth nurtured from joy.

We are tempered by fire.
Fierce
and yes
brave.

Yet...

No matter how long it's been
there are times
when
it's hard to
breathe.

People say
it gets easier,
time heals.

I still disagree.

Or
they wonder how
I do it.
They think they
could not be
so strong,
so brave.

You can, darling.
It's only repetition,
over
and
over.

I am practiced in pain.
Adept in grief.
I am better at it now.
I can move nimbly through it,
knowing there is no way
around,
only through.
I have exercised
just the right movements
a million times.
Those muscles are strong,
making it
look....
easier.



I am not the same.
Never the same.

But neither would I be
if Dave were here.

Life is about changing,
growing,
and yes,
accepting.

And being brave,
whatever comes.



Did you know
scars
are stronger
than skin?
Invisible scars
knit me together.
And make me
strong.
Make me
brave.

"Courage, dear heart." C.S. Lewis


So we can rise up
and embrace
what is,
what will be.
Even as we
still
mourn
what was.

Moving forward,
letting go.

But I bring a little piece
of you
with me
wherever
I go.

Hospital Information:

Patient Room: 509-386-7632

Home
1348 Lowell Drive
Walla Walla, WA 99362
509-522-5429

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