Hello, I just felt the need to write today even though I am not sure what to write. I guess I will start with how we are all doing. The kids are doing good... I try to keep Tyler as occupied as possible... He is such an awesome kid and has strength that completley amazes me.. I know he misses his sister so much.. I just wish I knew exactly how he was feeling.. He has been through so much since 2005. September of 05 I gave birth to Zarian and we devoted attention to her, then November of 05 Zoee' was diagnosed so all of our attention went to her, while we tried to give our children equal attention it was very difficult given the circumstances.., but all through this Tyler has never shown neither of his sisters a tade bit of resentment.. He was always very caring and loving to his sisters, a love you do not see to many kids show today to their siblings... I am very thankful for that, because if he was angry with them then he may be beating his self up... I thought Zarian really did not understand, but she does a couple of minutes ago she was on the floor crying saying she wants to see Zoee'.. She seen me typing on her site and just started crying she wants to see Zoee'... My husband seems to be dealing okay.. Of course he misses her dearly, but his understanding of where she is and how she if free and happy now makes him feel better. His method worked for me at the beginning, because of how much she was suffering, but now it does not... I am so mad that my little girl was taken from us, from a family that loved her so much... I guess with trying to settle and get our lives back to normal is not normal for me because my life everyday was Tyler, Zoee', and Zarian.... Speaking of Zoee' in the past tense really does something to my heart, my mind, everything... Zoee' was four, Zoee' liked, Zoee' used to... I am very angry... What makes me even more angry is all of the kids in my small town that has cancer or had cancer and passed away.... Zoee' went to heaven with two of her friends she used to play with her on earth... her friends both had cancer... One of her friends has the same thing as her and passed away two weeks before Zoee' was diagnosed and her other friend had another type of rare cancer and he passed away two weeks after Zoee' was diagnosed... I do not understand this.... Something is severly wrong here... My question is.. Are our babies dyeing due to someone else's mistakes or intentions....?? I hear so many stories about individuals dumping or burning things that are very harmful to us.... Now if this individuals are doing this knowing how harmful this stuff can be wouldn't that be INTENTIONAL..... Our babies our paying for other people ignorance, stupidity, and greed.... When will it end, how will it end....
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