zachary kerska's Journal
Written May 22, 2013 4:03pmzachs update
zachs is doing great still. he wrote a little thing for the 1st time during physical therapy. it says i love shannan xoxoxo. it totally made my day!! the nurses gave it to me when i went to sign papers. zach still cant talk but hes slowly getting better. he still has alot of brain damage and has to relearn everything but slowly getting better...
Written May 13, 2013 10:09pmzach your in surgery right now getting ur filter put in to avoid blood clots. i hope it goes good cause baby u were doing so good. i got to see your beautiful brown eyes that ive been waiting for looking at me. u listened to me when i told u to squeeze my hand and give me a thumbs up. then out of no were i saw a tear fall from ur eye and then ur lungs got bad and now ur sadated again. this is so hard. u were almost awake then i walked out of the room quick and when i walked back in and u looked bad. u looked like a person having a bad sezuir. u were breathing so so heavy and i couldnt calm u down no matter how much i held your hand. i kept talking to you and trying to slowly breath with you but it wouldnt work. i felt so horrible seeing you in that much pain watching u freak out and knowing i couldnt do anything to help u. this is so hard. u were doing so so good baby and ur eyes looking at me made my heart skip a beat then all this.. ur doing good now so far but ur not awake anymore. god i need you zach soo bad! this happening made me feel like i was losing u all over again. even though i know im not. it made me feel like a bad wife not being able to ease ur pain or breathing and that i couldnt keep you calm.i hope that you forgive me that you realize i was trying my best to calm you down so they wouldnt sadate you again. but i failed... i love you so much zach. ur doing good please wake up again soon but not till ur ready cause i never want to see you in that much pain ever again it broke my heart so bad!!! and seeing that tear fall down ur face made me cry so much. I LOVE YOU BABY
Written May 12, 2013 3:19pmstill in cridical condition and in coma with lots of brain swelling and still not much movement.. please keep praying for my husband. we all need him!