Josh made it home from Virginia safely. Vic and I returned from Amsterdam in one piece. Daddy was anxiously waiting at home for all of us to arrive. Daddy is working all weekend so we will have to keep it quiet so he can get some sleep. He's 1/2 through his midnights. 2 down, 2 to go. Poor guy.
It's hard to believe still that this time last year Tim, Zak and I were in Memphis. I am so happy to say what a great night it was on the 4th of July 2008. The three of us went to the roof of one of the St Jude parking garages to watch fireworks going off all over the city of Memphis. I remember calling home to tell Grampa d about all the fireworks. It was really a beautiful sight. You didn't know where to look first. It was all around us. Zak was so excited to see all the fancy explosions. Oh what I wouldn't do to relive that night with him again. It was so "awesome" as he would say.
Tim was looking for his flip flops he remembered buying last summer in the coat closet downstairs the other night. I told him before he went in there I had been avoiding the closet becuase of it's contents. Tim soon realized what I was talking about. In it were all of Zaks shoes. His sandles he wore in St Thomas were still covered in St Thomas sand. His sneakers he wore to OCCS for his uniform were also in there. I could still feel his footprints inside where his perfect little toes would have been. All his cool slip on sneakers we bought for him last year were in there, hardly worn. His not quite white sneakers he got to wear to Jr high were in there too. He was soo proud to go back to school shopping. He loved those white sneaks. It's just so hard to believe. He's really gone.
As Victoria and I ventured to Amsterdam on a girls trip, I was reminded of the last time we were there. It was last July with Zak. He was soo excited to get there again. He loved going to camp. It was hard for him to get around. He had been weaned off the steroids and his stability was not that good. He didn't care. He was where he had wanted to be for a long time. Home at camp! with the Aunts and Uncles! Agian what I wouldn't do to be there with him, all 5 of us together again.
Us three girls, Vic, Aunt Judy and I took a ride to the Albany State museum. We all went together about 5 years ago. It too seems like it was a dream.
Dr. Broniseur of St Jude hospital called on Tuesday to let us know that they had collected 30 tissue samples to begin more research of the DIPG tumor on. Sadly that meant that 29 other kids also had lost their battle with this tumor. Not fair. So many families with heart aches over the same gosh darn tumor. God, why?
I don't question the journey Zak took us all on. We learned so much going through this trial together. So many of us learned the importance of life through this trial. But too many of us are learning how to heal from the journey of this trial. That I question. Why couldn't the story ended differently? And then I remember, Zak was rewarded for his valiant fight. We are the ones that just have to wait our turn. Zak you were spared the heartache of lost love, dissapointment, and so much that we all still have to endure. You Zak are the lucky one. We are stuck here in this soggy world, waiting for either Jesus second coming or to just grow old and take natures course. Jesus come quickly!!!!
Sorry to have rambled. Just so many memories are coming to mind and it makes me sad. Well at least Liam isn't alone up there. Have a fantastic 4th of July with your families. Give them all extra big hugs. Life is so short. You just never know!
Kicking holes in the kingdom of DIPG hell,
Jennifer
