WALK TO INSPIRE's Journal
Tell them you love them
Written Apr 29, 2013 8:55pmWe all think we have tomorrow. No, we expect there is to be tomorrow. I'm telling you there is nothing farther from the truth. After Will got sick told him I loved him so many times. That is where I failed. I have never been a person who tells people I love them, and I didn't.
There is a lady whom I respect greatly. Her name is Miss Rose. I respect her for her kindness, generosity, and her ability to care. She wants nothing in return.
She told me one day to take the time to tell everyone you love that you love them At least once a day. Her husband walked out of the house one day and died of a heart attack. The last words she said to him was "I Love You".
I look back over the years and realize how many times I should of said I love you and didn't. What a pity. I can't change the past but I can act on the present.
Don't wait to tell someone you love them. You could miss your chance.
I came out of the cave today
Written Apr 29, 2013 12:47pmMore than three years ago I came to realize Will might not be here as long as I would like. I spent every moment with him I could. I would like to believe he came to know me better than anyone.
Will was far wiser than his years. He spent the last year of life preparing me for what was to come.
I told him when he was gone I was going to crawl into a cave and not come out until I felt I could. He said crawl in and come out when I was ready.
I woke up this morning and went outside the cave. Wow what a wonderful feeling.
Will told me he wanted his life to have purpose. He said if I could do something to help myself feel better then do it. He hoped something good would come from his illness.
It was as if on December 24the Will just stopped existing. I decided to come out today to keep his spirit alive.
I remember walking up to MD Anderson feeling Walk To Inspire was not supposed to end, that it still had purpose. I hope to use Walk to Inspire to keep his spirit with us.
In the beginning I followed every journal that people had written of their experience. I found many of the stories just ended one day. It didn't take long figured out what that meant.
Cancer is like meteorite crashing into the ocean. Those closest to thee epicenter suffer the most destruction but the ripples are far reaching.
I hope what I write helps other through their trials.
Written Mar 24, 2013 9:40pmToday is three months since Will passed. I keep looking for signs that he is ok. Spring was his favorite time of year. He would run endlessly. I don't remember a spring with as many flowers in bloom. I may be reaching but it makes me feel better thinking someone is speaking to me.
I have registerd to run the Chicago marathon in October. In one of the last great conversations we had I told him I would like to run Nnew York for him. He told me that race would kill me. I said how about Boston and he replied even worse. He seemed to think I could survive Chicago. So we agreed it would be Chicago.
I am running the Cresent City Clasic this weekend as part of my training. That was always one of his favorite races. ,he knew not to tell me I couldn't do something. I have to run New York and Boston Will just to show you I can.
The end was terrible. I still can't get it out of my mind. How long does it take. Running helps me feel better. Gives me time without people.
Will if that is you speaking to me through nature keep talking. I will go out and listen.