A New Chapter

So much has happened since Trey's passing.  It has been hard for me to sit down and know that I needed to write one or two more entries knowing that I would need to end this chapter.  But I did want to share with you a few tidbits of what happened behind the scenes that you may not know about to give you a little insight to our past, present, and future.

I so wish someone could have taped Trey's homegoing to Jesus.  It was everything anyone could ask for.  I had begged Dr. Tauer days before that I did not want Trey to die at home.  I knew when we arrived at St. Jude that he would not go home.  I knew this because the room he was in was an extra large room.  I knew God had planned that to hold people to be there during that time.  I prayed and prayed that he would not suffer from fluid in his lungs, high fever, pneumonia, and so many things that he could have suffered from if he were to survive until July 31.  The last three to four days was the worst pain we have ever seen Trey experience.  This was not the fault of the doctors.  As soon as he would get comfortable on the medication, he would wake an hour later in extreme pain and they would need to increase the medication.  He began to sleep much more.

On July 4 we explained to him his current situation and he and I spent quality time together.  His nurse, Pam, was a hoot and brought us glowstick bracelets and we put them on and I took pictures.  He passed away with the bracelets still on.  He wanted to make a Will, but we knew what his wishes were.  He got to the point his pain was so bad he could not breathe or talk and they had to keep him sleeping as much as possible.  We constantly watched his heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen level.  We knew by his levels that his kidneys were failing, as was his liver.

God blessed us by bringing the people we needed around us.  I was able to lay in the bed next to Trey for hours.  I told him stories in his ear of our vacations, his favorite Christmases, our trip to Hawaii, the Collierville football games, I sang the song that I sang to him as a baby over and over "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.  You make me happy, when times are grey.  You'll never know dear, how much I love you.  Please don't take my sunshine away."

Jay was able to whisper to me that his breathing had changed and we knew it would not be long.  Our pastors, Charles Fowler, Keith Cochran, Ron Norton, Allen Jones, and former youth pastor Ryan Mullins were with us along with many friends and family.  During this time, Ryan was playing White Flag by Chris Tomlin and I would look up and the room would have their hands lifted in worship and Trey's doctor would be singing and my heart was just touched.  The other songs we sang were sung at his funeral, Lay Me Down and 10,000 Reasons.  Ryan leaned over to me and told me he had a word from God that he did not think it would be long.  Julianne, Trey's girlfriend, asked him to play 10,000 Reasons.  Trey passed away at the end of this song.  It was such a sweet passing.  I just kept telling him to run to Jesus buddy, run to Jesus.  And I believe he did with all the speed he had in him.

The days after his passing I can tell you were a blessing from God.  We have been blessed by so many friends that surrounded us.  That was God's hedge of protection.  We were able to plan his celebration without a hitch.  And what a celebration it was! I think Trey probably had his shades on enjoying some Beach Boys too!

There are so many things Jay and I did not share during our journey for protection of Trey.  I told so many people that we reverted back to raising a 5 year old.  We had mid-night feedings, we were washing soiled clothes at 2 a.m., cleaning up throw up at all hours, and administering medication at all hours - all without complaining from Trey - to some degree.  He would get so tired.  My point is, with everything he went through, what you saw was real.

I would come in about 7 or 8 a.m. and ask him if he had slept and he would say no and he would tell me he had already done his devotional from two books, read his bible and would tell me what they were about.  We battled with his sleep - always - but that never kept him from reading God's word.  Even if I had to read it to him.

Right now Jay and I are in the process of getting Trey's room painted.  Collin is already sleeping in his room and very comfortably so.  We are so glad about that.  I have not been able to work on his belongings or his clothes yet.  Today, I searched for his smell and I couldn't find it.  So, as you can tell, those days that were good are now becoming very hard and very long.  It is a very lost feeling.

Collin and I talked today.  I asked if he thought about Trey as much as dad and I did.  He said no, not as much.  I asked if he were angry.  He said no and quickly changed the subject.  But that's not abnormal for an ADD/ADHD child.  We are keeping a close eye on Collin.  His birthday is Friday and he will be 13.  We are planning for a great birthday for him.  How better to spend your birthday than to fly to Disney the next day?

As my boss told me today, life will go on for others and for us our life has changed forever and it seems unfair.  We will continue to talk about Trey.  Trey's work on this earth is not done.  God is still working through his life.  I received a call tonight about how he worked through a friend in Kentucky to reach someone.  God is good and will use his servants.  We can't help but be a little proud and just pray that we raise Collin the same way we did Trey.  It takes a lot of prayer and great leadership from our church! Thank you Ryan Mullins and Keith Cochran.  Do not let anyone tell you these men are not great men of God with wonderful leadership skills.  They have seen my family through many hard times.

Jay and I plan to go back to work when school starts.  This will help us all get back into a routine at the same time.  We are still receiving meals and we are so thankful.  We still look at each other in a fog not wanting to make decisions.  Again, we are so thankful for friends who are stepping in and taking over.

All we can do during this time is what this song says is worship His holy name!  He knows our hurts, our pain, our needs, and how we are to moved forward.  We ask that you continue to pray for us.  If you are a facebook or twitter friend, I ask for your patience as I may post things from time to time about Trey, whether it is a picture or tweet.  As Ryan told me, when I pray or worship, just think that Trey is worshiping and praying too.  He is just a little closer than we are.  We would not want him back the way he was the last week of his life.  He would not want to come back to this crazy place! 

We love you all, so much.  You have been such an encouraging blessing, from all over the world!  By the way, beginning July 31 (Trey Erwin day), Tailgate for the Cure (www.tailgate4thecure.org) will begin selling #livelikejesus T shirts with Erwin on the back.  They are so so cool.  Please support them as they have supported us and will in turn support St. Jude.  I will remind you and send you a picture at a later date.  My computer is not letting me upload it at this time.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Ps. 73:26

10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
Lord, I'll worship Your holy name

Amen!

Sign Up and Stay in Touch

Be one of the first to know when there’s an update to Trey’s website.

Get Trey’s Journal Updates

Comments

0 Replies