Hello everyone,
First of all, a belated Happy Father's day to all you daddies out there! Hope your day was special and your kids gave you extra big squeezes!
Father's day weekend was a bittersweet one for us. Trenton very frequently ended up in the hospital on Father's day, so last year was the FIRST Father's day that Ryan had all his boys home with him. I remember quite clearly Brendon bringing in a mug of steaming hot coffee, Preston bringing some buttered toast, and Trenton trailing behind, proud to be the bearer of the Father's Day card that they all signed by themselves. I can't find that card now, I wish I could. I'm not a sentimental type, I don't hoard every card, picture or craft the boys have made...but I wish I had!
Saturday our family spent the day out at the beach in Grand Haven with our nephew Anthonie. We played in the sand, walked the pier and the boardwalk and made our traditional trip into town to Fortino's. Every year, we walk from the beach into the main strip of shopping areas in Grand Haven. The very first trip we make there of the summer, we all pile into Fortino's (an awesome store that has been in Grand Haven for over 100 years. They have the very bestest, funnest candy selection around!) to pick a treat. Everyone gets to pick one thing, no matter the cost (everything is quite reasonably priced) and that is their treat. This year, as the boys were picking out their treat, I spotted the cutest little monkey on a bike with a lollipop sticking out the back. I decided THAT would be Trenton's treat!
After Fortino's we went back out to the campground where Ryan's grandparents are staying and visited with them for a while. We had dinner, then made our way out to the end of the pier. The boys had a blast watching the Jet-skiers doing all their tricks! We love to just sit on the end of the pier and watch the water...it's very calming and relaxing. And although Trenton was always on our mind, we still had a great time! By the time we got home, everyone was exhausted and ready for bed (and I was fried to a crisp! Somehow I manage to always remember to douse the kids in sunblock, but never myself!).
Sunday was another beautiful day. We got up (no breakfast in bed for day this year, we decided to do a steak dinner instead!). Ryan was really struggling with the day. Only ONE year has Trenton been home with us on Father's day, and that is really hard for Ryan to take, understandably so. We got dressed and headed out for our day. First stop, Meijer. We had to pick up cards for our dads (yes we procrastinated til the last second, as did MANY others! LOL). Then it was off to the cemetery so dad could be with his three boys together. We brought Trenton's Grand Haven treat and left that for him as well. After an emotional visit it was off to my daddy's house to visit and give him his card. Then it was off to Ryan's dad's to visit and give him his card as well. After that, we headed off to the grocery store to let Ryan pick out his steaks. He chose some seriously delicious New York Strips (not an everyday thing at our house let me tell ya!). We headed home and I worked on the twice baked potatoes, and got the asparagus ready for the grill. Everything turned out absolutely delicious, and although Ryan had to "cook" on Father's day, it was definitely worth it!
We have more holidays coming up, and each one seems to be harder and harder, rather than easier. It feels so unnatural to be a family of four, rather than five. A piece of us is missing, and can never be replaced. And although my heart aches everyday, the tears fall silently every night, I know that my little angel is whole and healthy in Heaven, playing and having fun with all the other angel babies up there. That thought alone, is what gets me through each day. Trenton will continue to live on through all of us, in one way or another, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Love and hugs,
Crystal
