Dear Friends,

Thank you again for your support and prayers through this time of our loss. Our family will be forever grateful for your support and for the final weeks together with Dad.

It has been just over two months since Dad’s passing and today as I was looking through some photos that were used on this site, which I was asked to email, it brought a renewed feeling of grief for me personally and I can’t wait to see him again. Realizing that there may still be some who receive email notification of updates to this journal, maybe I will take an opportunity, as I think I can speak in behalf of all in the family of how this loss has changed each one of us in ways that we do not yet fully understand, and maybe never will, in this life. But we serve a faithful God and we are grateful to Him for His faithfulness and care. I am again reminded of an article about “change” that I saved from many years ago which I occasionally dig up, and will copy it into the end of this post.

Looking back, if there was one thing within my power to change in the days following Dad’s passing, it might be the full schedule of seemingly unchangeable events that dictated the hasty scheduling of the funeral service on the following Monday afternoon. We continue to meet people in the community and have received condolences from many acquaintances who learned of Dad’s passing the day after the funeral when it came out in the local paper. I also suppose the schedule is worthy of clarification as the question also arose from within the church circle, that maybe it was quickly scheduled on Monday afternoon because you (the family) didn’t want a large funeral. Unfortunately, it was the busy schedule of the church services and functions that influenced our decision and maybe we could have placed a higher level importance on those in the community. However, coupled with this regret that it could have been more of a time of outreach or reunion, is the knowledge that God is in control and this is just something I don’t understand.

Until recently, Mom has been quite busy getting things taken care of following Dad’s passing, but in recent weeks things have slowed down for her and the pain of loss has increasingly become a reality. I suppose until one loses a spouse and stands in this place it is impossible to fully understand…. Dad won’t be returning from a long-haul truck trip or bike ride this time, as tickets to heaven are only issued one-way. Please remember Mom in prayer as the quietness throughout the coming months will certainly be difficult for her as she experiences the many lonely firsts.

As is probably common, losing a father is also cause for much time of reflection, self examination, how things are, were, cause and effect, our role on the family tree, God’s providence, etc, etc……… Growing up, Mom and Dad’s home was always open to all types of kids in the neighborhood and remembering this compels me to share something of recent.

Saturday mornings at our house are often reserved for getting some things done around the place and on a recent Saturday we had a busy day planned and a rigid script for our boys to help in the yard. Just as we were getting started on a project I noticed a couple of the neighbor kids riding their bicycles up the driveway and I groaned inwardly wondering how I was going to tell these kids that they were going to have to leave so we can get our work done…, not today…bad timing…? As they rolled to a stop, I looked up and things got even worse when I noticed that they had brought along an extra face this time, a face that I hadn’t seen before, a face with a few piercings in areas that really didn’t impress me. This in itself may have sealed the deal about the need to tell them they needed to go home. After all, if we needed help we could easily call on some good hard working church kids to get the job done. So, instead of sounding too honest by just telling these boys to leave, I informed them that their visit wasn’t going to fit in the day’s plan and curtly told them that “Kit and Chase have work to do today!”

Much to my chagrin, I was left with only one choice when the one responded “Oh, can we help?!” Quickly conceding, I barked some orders and they promptly and willingly joined in the work right beside us. After a few seconds of silence, in an attempt to make conversation, I ask the one, “So… do you do yard work with your dad too?”

I pray that I will never forget this young boy’s answer, the reason for sharing this here tonight. In our family, we were blessed to have our Dad for over four decades and if we ever begin questioning God’s providence or calculating whether having a dad for four decades was long enough, I pray that it will again be brought into perspective as it was that Saturday morning. You can fill in the blanks of where it left my focused and impatient agenda when this young boy answers, “I don’t have a dad.”

I am reminded of a certain lawyer (and in this case a contractor) who was also willing to justify himself by asking Jesus “and who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10.29) Whatever the case, this friend of a neighbor kid wasn’t excluded when Jesus instructed that lawyer in the parable of the Good Samaritan to show mercy and “Go and do thou likewise!”

May God richly bless you all and keep you in his care as we endeavor to remember the fatherless and widows. (James 1:27)

Here is the article that I mentioned above, titled “Change”

It’s a fact of life you just can’t deny. Change is a painful thing. If you were to look over the past year or two, I suspect the times you found most difficult, (and) most irritating...were times of great change. That’s true for a nation, a company, a church, a family, and certainly for an individual.

Yet change is also a great gift–one God not only allows but bestows for our benefit. Change has a way of loosening our grip on what cannot last, and renews afresh our appetite for heaven–it’s a reminder that while circumstances and temporal possessions come and go, God, His promises and His promised kingdom remain intact and immovable for time and eternity. The more we see just how little there is in life we can count on, the readier we become for a sinless place of eternal peace, joy, comfort and unbroken communion with God.

Change is also a blessing when it does just the opposite–when it causes us to tighten our grip on certain things. As we face change, we’re forced to weigh our commitments and sift each new decision we make and direction we take through the grid of God’s word. It forces us to cling to what has eternal value and discard what doesn’t. Change is the crucible in which our priorities are tested, our motives are redefined, and our faith is made stronger.

- John MacArthur

God’s Peace to all,

Roger and family