10-25-07

Human words will never let me explain what your thoughts and prayers have meant to our family but as best I can - here goes.

Because of your prayers, Tam and I had a journey for the last several months that can only be described as “Experiencing the presence of God” in ways we had never experienced Him before. It was never because of anything we had done or were doing; it was all about how God was answering prayers.

To digress, prior to the start of these experiences, to-do lists, prayer lists, computer programs were my primary ways of getting things done. In my naive way, I thought I was pretty organized, tried to set priorities, reminders, etc. Little did I know how ineffective I was, how much time I was wasting (many days I was spending more time on doing the “lists” than on completing the action items). Guilt, lots of days, from not getting enough done was always in the back of my mind.

In the beginning, the thought kept coming to my mind: Focus on one day at a time. Over and over again, I kept thinking “one day at a time”. Then …….. a friend’s comment several years ago came to mind; he said whenever he had a good idea he stopped to thank God for putting that idea in his mind. Instead of congratulating himself on how ingenious he was (like I do) he gave all the praise to God. Was God trying to get through to me? Am I missing a burning bush? Should I add this to my prayer list? What should I do to make sure I don’t miss a God sighting? Following many days of --- I --- I --- I --- me ---- me ---- me ----. God clearly put the thought in my mind; He can handle today for you and Tam, just listen, obey and give Him the glory. Forget the to-do lists, trust Me to tell you what is important, depend on Me to remind you. You have tried it your way and you need to believe My way is better.

So I started. No overnight success. I wanted to believe. My sinful nature kept having periods of doubts. He kept saying trust Me, I will take you by the hand – you don’t have to do anything but believe, forget about trying to do it yourself, I will do for you what needs to be done today. Day after day the scriptures kept confirming the thoughts He was putting in my mind. The days were getting better, the periods of doubt were getting fewer but He started saying there is more but you need to totally surrender. Fully expect Me to handle everything.

The evidence was there. Tam and I were experiencing more joy, more assurance, and more peace. It became very clear that when things were not going right - I was trying to take over. Finally, finally, finally after repeatedly going from the top of the mountain to bottom of the ocean to the top of the mountain; I had to get on my knees, beg for forgiveness and promise Him whatever He ask of me I would do.

At that point everything changed. We had an autopilot, no more to-do list, He unmistakably put thoughts in our minds of what was most important and what to do next. He sent people to us that confirmed what He wanted us do. His Word gave us high confidence that what He was telling us was true. He was there for us in every situation.

Prayers for comfort were answered – the doctors said it was a miracle from God, the nurses said they had never seen anyone with ovarian cancer experience Tam’s relief from pain.

Prayers for peace were answered – Tam in the earlier part of her journey expressed many times, anxiety about not wanting to leave us. In the later part of her journey she was at total peace in trusting the Lord to provide for us and willing to accept His will for her life.

Prayers for wisdom were answered – He taught and demonstrated to us everyday, nothing short of total surrender will do. When we fail (and we will) He will forgive us and not make us feel guilty. We don’t know what tomorrow holds but we do know that with God in control – He will be there for us.

Prayers for joy were answered – the experiences we had during Tam’s journey were the most joyful of our lives. The times we were allowed to spend with each other, family, friends, in laughter and with good food will be cherished forever.

Prayers for a miracle were answered in so many ways:

· Experiencing the presence of God

· Seeing God work out His plan in so many peoples lives

· Three additional months with Tam we never thought we would have

· Seeing God’s people perform miracles for Tam

· Seeing Tam perform miracles for God’s people

When you think of Tam - Think of the power of prayer

Pray for yourself that God will reveal Himself to you for total surrender.

Pray that in my sinful nature I will never forget it is God putting those good thoughts in my mind.