One year. I can't even believe it. It seems like it was just yesterday. I have been a mess for about a month anticipating this day. I either don't sleep at all or I sleep entirely too much. I was able to take yesterday and today off of work. My aunt came up from Tenessee to be with me. No huge plans. We are just hanging out. I have to say that I am in complete awe of the number of people who remembered us yesterday. Numerous phone calls and texts. People coming over to visit for a while. And, when I learned of all the kids wearing their shirts yesterday I cried. I never anticipated the outpouring of love that we received. Thank you all so very much. It means more than you will ever know. So, where have I been for the last few months? Laying very low. Our family was divided in Feb when I finally filed for divorce from Bruce after 6 years of separation. It was just time. However, it has become quite ugly and I've been accused of many horrible things. It tears me apart that I have not been able to continue Sydney's dreams. I had to put everything on hold. Of course, I can't say too much on this public forum. Just know that our family will never be the same. Not only did we lose our baby but, whatever we had left as a family has been completely ripped to shreds. What a nightmare. Bryce is doing well considering everything. He is still in counseling and sees the doctor twice a month. He really likes his teacher this year. Mr Moore is such a positive role model for all of the kids. I have mad respect for that man. And, knock on wood.....Bryce has not been sent to the office one time for discipline!! I'm so excited. Toward the end of the school year last year it was pretty much a daily phone call from the principal. Several of his teachers have commented to me about how well he is doing this year. He is growing up very quickly. Becoming more and more mature by the minute. He is quite the little man. Bryce really wants to do toy mission again this year. I keep going back and forth and I'm just not sure. It's not that I don't enjoy collecting items for the hospital. I love and miss everyone there so much. I just am concerned about all of the accusations that I will undoubtedly receive. It's exhausting. We are kind of running out of time. I'll have to decide very soon. You know what the best part about caring bridge is? The venting of it all. Man, I feel like 10 lbs has been lifted off of my shoulders. Thank you all for reading my update and allowing me to vent for a minute. Sorry to drone on and on. I guess I just needed it. In closing I sincerely want to thank everyone again for yesterday. The outpouring of love was amazing. It really was a surprise. For some reason, I guess I just didn't expect everyone to remember. It was not exactly a day that I wanted to celebrate but, I definetly needed the uplifting support from our friends. I love you all so very much. Vanessa
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