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My Story

April14,2005 love December18,2007

Shelby was diagnosed with preB ALL June 11, 2007. October 10th she relapsed , the ALL had mutated and a mass was found in her brain. Shelby taught us about love.We miss her www.theshelbyrfoundation.org

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Sunday, July 5, 2009 3:51 PM, CDT

Many beautiful Orbs lit up my 4th of July photos, dancing and flying alongside the vividly colorful fireworks. I could see them on my screen as I snapped and I felt happy thinking about Shelby Popping! and dazzling in the night sky. "How wonderful you are!" I said. "Amazing!"
I asked Shelby for a sign. I watched the sky and found the smoke from the current explosion had formed a perfectly shaped heart. I smiled as it slowly faded away.

Yesterday we were with Omar's family- actually a family reunion. Omar's cousin Candice had the Cricket logo and The ShelbyR Foundation printed on the front of the reunion tee's. How kind..thoughtful, and $1 from each t-shirt (fee) was donated to the foundation.
I had a moment when I almost broke down. Some of the moms were talking about mom-stuff, their kids,etc.. I stood in the group but felt so sad, so seperated. I watched their little girls in the pool as they talked. I walked away.
I sobbed all the way home hours later. Gavin was sleeping and I was able to feel what I felt..alone with my heartache.

I couldn't sleep last night thinking about Shelby. I imagined her there at the reunion if she had survived the awful cancer. What would her life be like for her. I imagined her blind, her beautiful eyes as they had become..one turned outward and so different than the way they were, two perfectly shaped spheres.. before Leukemia. I saw myself helping her walk up the water slide, sliding down with her, holding her in my arms. Would she be accepted by other children the way she had before..playing and laughing as they were, carefree. - all the questions..all the fears I had held in my mind during those months.
I willed it to be ok in my mind as I cried. "I would have made it alright," I told her. "I would have made it ok for you."
"It was not your choice." I was told -this little voice in my head.

Gavin said today, "I am 4 years and I can fly." He took off "flying" around the apt. He is two, Shelby is four..
He had a great time yesterday & last night. He ran and danced and swam..with cousins & angels.

Shelby & Cricket * Bunny

( childrens book) goes to print in a few of weeks. ~proceeds go to TSRF!
It is written by me :] and the lovely illustrations are by Russ Oliviera. You will be able to buy them @ TSRF www.theshelbyrfoundation.org Thank you! Cheers & Salud, Kimberley Rodriguez_President TSRF

You can buy Russ's original artwork at: [So, so cute!]
www.waddlinonion.etsy.com
10% is donated to TSRF!

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