Your post was a surprise in my inbox! Been a while, huh? Well girl, we've both spent two plus years trudging through the Widow Wilderness now. I can see by what you've written that you have been blessed with two valuable gifts: strength and a good attitude. They didn't come immediately or easily did they?! Aren't ya glad the worst bottomless-pit-cry-till-you're-dehydrated days are over?! I sure am. I hate crying and I've cried enough in the last two years to fill my lifetime cry quota! Every good cry brought a wee bit more healing though.
It sounds like you can think & talk about your best friend without loosing it now. Me too. We will always think about them, our best friend husbands were the other half of us! And you don't forget the one that completed you. It's wonderful that you are filling Charlie Mae's heart with rich stories about her Daddy, what a legacy. Memories are precious.
Sounds like we've both turned a corner in the grief process. Look at you... moving all the way to the left coast to begin a new chapter in your life. Good for you! That took courage. I've found it very therapeutic conquering something new as a widow. You've conquered a lot! We're ready to move forward.
Have you had well meaning people asking you bold questions about your plans to marry again? I have, and I'm not young like you!!! (Some folks just don't know what to say to widows!) The first year I thought "no way". Now, after healing from the hole in my heart, I realize I'm not wired to be alone the rest of my life. So I've been talking to the Lord about sending me a godly widower who's well off, slightly blind, and was married to an obese wife. (At my age, the latter two work in my favor) If the Lord wills, it'll happen.
Otherwise, here's what I know:
-God is good
-God is near to the broken hearted
-God provides all my needs physically, emothionally and spiritually
-Instead of crying in my beer about becoming a widow, it's more beneficial to praise God for the GREAT 36 year marriage I enjoyed
-Laughter is good medicine
-Support from family and friends is a blessing from the Lord
-Using power tools and shooting my shotgun are great stress relievers
-Were it not for the renewal of Gods word and the strength of Gods grace, I could not do this thing called widowhood without some serious drugs
Well Katie, I'm glad you are healing and holding your head up... you go girl!
love in Jesus,