Sandy Floore's Journal
December 29, 39th Anniversary
Written Dec 29, 2012 6:29pm
Today, December 29, would have been our 39th wedding anniversary. The picture is from that wonderful day. We were both fortunate to have each other for that long to share children, friends, travel and all other experiences. I just wish it could have been a lot longer, and there was so much we wanted to do and see. We promised each other 39 years ago to stick together “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”. There is not a day that passes when I am reminded of her, miss her conversations or think of our time together. Family and friends have been fantastic in their concern, support and keeping me busy.
I am still trying to catch up. The bills are getting paid, the household chores done, the transfer of cars and such are complete, and other daily tasks that she took care of have fallen into my routine. I still have not sent acknowledgments and thank you notes to all those who have helped over the past 5 months – they will be coming, eventually.
I will close down this website around the end of January. The site has been a wonderful way to relay information and our thanks to everyone, but there is little more that I can add. Thanks to everyone who left comments and made donations to Caringbridge. I do not know how we could have done it without their help.
Remember the Dash
Written Sep 21, 2012 7:12am
Today, September 21, is Sandy’s 60th birthday.
It has been only 45 days since her passing and it has felt so much longer than that. We were never apart for long during all these years, the longest was the month she spent in England on a College class trip. I am beginning to get used the ‘new normal’ of not having her around. I don’t expect to see her sitting in the room when I walk in as much as I did a few weeks ago, but I still only use my side of the bed. It was very difficult when I washed the sheets on our bed for the first time knowing that the machine would wash out her lingering scent. I still use the word ‘we’ in most of my conversations with others, and probably always will.
I have also been looking at a lot of pictures of our 40+ years together. The flowers in the picture attached to this post has a story to go along with it. This bouquet, three white carnations and a single red rose, was the only flower bouquet I ever gave her. It started when we first started dating, because that was about all I could afford. It was reserved only for those extra special occasions because if they came too regularly, she became suspicious of my motives. But since those times, it has always been my special arrangement just for her.
I do not want to dwell any more over the past 45 days or the past 9 months. Instead, I want to concentrate on the Dash. Several months ago, I came across a little poem concerning the Dash – the separator between a person’s date of birth and date of death. In one of the many cards, letters and emails I have received, someone was kind enough to send me a copy of the poem. I have included a copy of that poem at the end of this post. The Dash is the time that should be remembered and celebrated, more than the joy of the first or the sorrow with the last. The celebrations from growing up, school, friends, family, parties, weddings, births, trips, loud gatherings, mad times, stubborn times, happy times, sad times, times as a student, times as a teacher, times as a leader, times as friend, times as a mother, times as a daughter, times as a sister and times as a lover. September 21, 1989 was also the day Hurricane Hugo hit Charleston - Now that was a party to remember! Those are what we should hang on to; those wonderful memories for all those years. Try to imagine what you would be like if she had not been a part of our lives. Sandy was with us for almost 60 years, the time with cancer represents a little more than 1 percent of that time. She would not like it if all we remembered was that small portion of a rich and loving life.
Remember the Dash.
We all miss her.
I miss her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Dash Poem
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between the years.
For that dash represents all the time
That she spend alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to refresh
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
Written Aug 23, 2012 7:55pm
We would like to thank everyone who attended Sandy’s memorial service in Louisville last week. This time we even had electricity. There were friends from high school, friends from her old neighborhood in Lyndon, friends from college, kids she babysat for, parents of the kids she babysat for, friends of friends and lots of family. We all expected a few tears, but we also saw lots of smiles and heard lots of good stories. I think she would have enjoyed the fact that the room was standing room only and that everyone had a few smiles during the afternoon.