Hello family, friends and supporters,

I know I don't have to remind you what day is around the corner.  We have been dreading this day like you can not imagine.  It is odd really to harbor so much fear for a day.  It can't not hurt us again.  I had wanted to put something in the news paper but neither of us could bring our selves to sit and write it.  It still seems like a bad dream that we can not wake up from.  It just could not possiably have happened.  It has been the longest hardest year of our lives.  Sometimes I can not imagine how we are suppose to endure decades of this hell we have been sentenced to.  Sometimes we find ourselves pretending he is still alive because it is easier to get thru the day.  We have tried to push on.  I know he would want us to.  He always thought of Tyler and worried about him even at the end.  They loved each other so much.  I wanted them to be close and sometimes I wish I hadn't.  Tyler misses him terriably.  He is doing OK.  He is talking to us about his feelings and we are there for him.  We have sat up many nights sitting together and crying.  Tyler would like to have someone his age understand how is feels but I dont think that will happen.  His friends are great and very supportive but it is important for a connection to someone who understands. There are some groups we tried to put him in but he seems afraid so we have not pushed.   I never took the boys to funerals so unfortunately Tylers first was his own brother. 

Ryan actually passed away on April 28th at 10:42 pm.  I can see it so clearly in my mind.  The nurse did not pronounce him until after midnight so his death date is offically the 29th.  I ask you to think of Ryan tomorrow as you pass through your day.  Maybe look up at his star that his classmates bought for him.  Let him know you still care.  Pray for us to have strength to get through the day and every day after without our son/brother.  We thank all of you for your continued support.  Especially our Fort Lewis and Glenvar families that always been there for us and have ensured our son will not be forgotten.  Fort Lewis painted a mural in Ryan's honor and the library dedicated a corner to Ryan and filled the shelves with Ryan's favorite books that we used to read together.  Both schools have donated money to Ryan's scholarship and Glenvar has been there supporting Tyler every step of the way.  We will never be able to show our true gratitude for all the love you have shown us.

Thank you all so much.
Melinda, Jeff, Tyler and Ryan (from heaven)