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  • Thank You

    Written Oct 26, 2012 1:45pm by Krissie Murphy

    The past couple of weeks have only been bearable because of the prayers, love, and support we've received from everyone around the world. 

     Rob's race is run, but you can keep up with the kids and me by check out my blog at http://fivefarfromhome.blogspot.com .  I've written a post and intend to do so frequently.

  • every plan is a prayer

    Written Oct 11, 2012 1:14pm by Krissie Murphy

    "and I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never have lain beside it all"
         -Death Cab for Cutie (What Sarah Said)

      As we sat in the hospital room and talked about the awful truth, my remarkable children were so very brave.  In those private moments I saw a love and grace in them that I will never forget and always strive after.  The phrase, "they are holding up exceptionally well", would be what I would use (and what I have heard said), except that sentiment behind it would be lost because it is not by their own strength, nor mine, that they are being held up. 
        These last days were tough for all of us and we are all living a sort of surreal half-life right now.  When people use the analogy, "it comes in waves." it really does feel like that.  An endless ocean of emotions that crash, then recede.  We find courage in one another, the friends that are surrounding us, the family waiting to grieve with us in the states, and above all - the faith in our Savior that is our sustaining grace.  
     It is for the three of them: Sarah, Noah, and Micah - it is because of them, and with love for them - that I want to write this out. 
       
        Rob had the seizure, which I posted about, on Saturday.  On Sunday he slept most of the day.  On Monday the two oldest kids came to visit Rob and spent several hours there.  Micah was still recovering from a flu-bug and stayed home with Grandma.  Rob was able to briefly visit with the kids and smiled when they told their jokes. The kids left in the afternoon and Rob and I went about life as we knew it.  Someone brought him a chocolate malt and he ate a little dinner in the early evening.  I settled in and thought that he was asleep for the night, but about 8:00 PM I noticed he seemed restless.  He said he couldn't get comfortable and he was beginning to get a headache.  Even after pain meds the headache continued and he seemed agitated.  About 9:30 he started to talk to people that weren't there and not making sense.  He kept tell me about arrows.  There were 30 - 35 arrows right in this area and they needed to be put over by the bedroll.  The shelves were put up and he wasn't sure if they'd stick together.  And the arrows, always the arrows.  When his night nurse came in we asked Rob if he knew where he was and he replied, "at the wilderness camp".  At the point I said to the nurse, "something is happening, isn't it?"  He answered, "yes" and left the room -  Rob continued with the same conversation about the arrows, the shelves.  He knew WHO I was and said he loved me, too when I told him, but was completely  focused on those 30-35 arrows.  The charge nurse came back after that, which made me realize it was serious,  and asked Rob where he was, Rob replied, "at Camp Kachina" - which is a local camping area where a lot of the cub scout/boy scout camps happen.  Rob has camped there with our boys and been a volunteer countless times.  That's where he was.  Camping with our boys.
       He started to calm down as the pain meds seemed to help and fell asleep, he would still answer, "yeah" when I asked him if he was okay and he would answer "I know" when I told him that it was okay, that we would all be okay.  Shortly after midnight his breathing changed and he was no longer answering me.  The charge nurse, who was in and out frequently,  said that she believed he had slipped into a coma.  About 2:30 AM Tuesday morning his heart began racing and his pulse ox decreasing.  At that point the nurse gently told me that she couldn't say for certain but that this looked like the end.  About 4 AM it became obvious to me that things were moving in that direction, so I sent a text to Rob's friend, Israel, who arrived shortly after.  We sat with Rob and prayed, and cried, and watched.  His heart rate and breathing began slowing down.  I knew the exact moment.  It was really quite peaceful for him. He just died.  The Doctor came in shortly after to pronounce him, and so it is officially listed as 8:11 AM.  My kids were brought to the hospital within the next 45 minutes and the rest of that day and yesterday are kind of a blur.  People have come, meals have been delivered, meetings have been held.  Kids have been consoled, grandma has gone home, dog has been walked.
       The grief that comes suddenly and fiercely is subsided by a phone call to make or an email to answer, and I go on.  It's very strange for me to not have to be anywhere, and it's equally strange for my kids to have me all to themselves.  The kids are doing well and actually chose to return to school today.  They couldn't just sit around the house waiting for our flight to the states.  We had a plan in place to get them if they needed to leave, but they did fine.  It was hard, but good.  There's a solace in normalcy and I am so thankful to be able to stay in our home, in their community with the adults that they know and trust,  and the friends that they love.  
      
      The funeral home and cemetery that we are using are places that Rob and I would drive by everyday when we grew up and lived in Waukesha.  When we first met, I was a junior and Rob was a senior in high school, we had a creative writing class together.  The teacher actually TOOK us to this cemetery on a field trip for inspiration on a short story we were to compose.  It is so bittersweet going to lay him to rest in a place that has a history between us. 
     I don't have the official obituary, but I can tell you what I know now and the dates are solid.  I'm not sure on exact times yet, those will be listed on the funeral home's website.  We are using Randall, Dable, Brisk (Grand Ave).  Check their website here: http://www.randledablefuneralhome.com/
      The kids and I will be returning to the states soon.  We will have the viewing on Friday and the  funeral on Saturday at Trinity Presbyterian Church (Hine Ave), October 19th and 20th, respectively.  Directly following the morning service there will be a burial with full military honors at Prairie Home Cemetery (Prairie Ave). 
         After the burial there will be a reception held at the First Assembly of God Church (Grand Ave), where I will say a few things, Noah and my brother will perform a song, and there will be food.  Rob has requested that the reception be a VERY casual gathering.  He didn't own a suit (except his dress uniform) and wouldn't want you wearing one.  He was best known for, and most comfortable in, his converse shoes, jeans and a Tshirt.  We ask that you honor Rob and dress in his favorite attire for this reception, being held at the church where he grew up.  
       A memorial service is being planned at the chapel on Ramstein AB sometime after the kids and I return to Germany from the states.  Those details will be posted in local publications.
       
         This site has been an amazing way to communicate with friends and family near and far.  I have kept you up-to-date on Rob's fight, but also had an outlet to share MY WHOLE FAMILY'S experiences and faith.  I thank all of you who so diligently check every time there is an update.  I don't plan to post on this site anymore as Rob's race is run, but I will continue to post on our family's blog as the kids and I take that first step where the sidewalk ends.  http://fivefarfromhome.blogspot.com
       The BEST way I think I can end this post - end this part of the story -  is with one of my very favorite sentiments given to Noah in a sympathy card today.  He writes, "I am really sad that your dad is not with us.  I'm glad that he is with God and that I know Him (too).  I am living my life to see your dad again"

    Grace and Peace,
    Krissie and the kids
  • Finish Line...

    Written Oct 9, 2012 3:31am by Deanna Keir

    I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. --2 Timothy 4:7

    On the morning of October 9, 2012 at 0811, the quiet man with gentle eyes, sparkling with humor crossed the finish line of his final marathon.  Robert Jay Murphy, supported by his wife Kristina and his children Sarah, Noah and Micah, finished his race with peace in his heart knowing he gave it his all.  He ran an awesome race.  Even in the end when the last legs of the race were a lot harder than he might have trained for, Rob continued on with a grace and peace that gave the rest of us strength to continue with him.  "He keeps him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him" Is. 26:3. As Rob crossed the finish line, a legion of angels were on the other side cheering him right into his Savior's arms, who stated "Well done, good and faithful servant!”

    Within a few days, the Murphy family will be traveling to Wisconsin.  There will be a service, burial, and reception all taking place in Waukesha, WI - Rob and Krissie's hometown.  Once the arrangements have been finalized they will be posted here.  For those who are unable to attend the services in the States, there will be a memorial service in Germany once Krissie and the kids come back to Europe, and details of that will also be posted on this site at a later date.
     
    This post written by Michelle Briggs

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