Robert M. Cunningham's Journal
Written Jul 12, 2011 11:24pmI know I shouldn't or am not supposed to focus on the past. But, it is so much easier said than done.
It's one of those days that I know what I was doing on this very date last year. And, tonight, I find myself having one of those hard-to-find-sleep nights.
After work, it became necessary that I take Emily to the doctor for a bad ear ache. I guess God has a way to occupy your time and get your mind off things for a short time. So, I guess with tonight's ear ache and challenges, I find myself still awake.
Last year on this date, we were admitted to the hospital and were seeing black eruptive lesions appearing on Robert's skin. I cannot believe the journey. NEVER would I have thought it would have ended the way it did. NEVER.
The one-year mark for angel wings will be soon. But for now, the next two weeks are going to be difficult. Within the last 6 weeks, I felt like I was really beginning to come out of the "funk" with the last year really being a big big blur. I'm not sure how I/we actually made it through but I/we did. For me, I guess it was all systematic when I went back to work. There were weeks upon weeks that I really don't remember any specifics.
Robert's friend/our friend, Mikey, earned his wings on the 17th, almost one year ago. He earned his wings 9 days before Robert earned his. So, right now, I mourn MIkey and my heart bleeds for Dina. Because Robert was so sick, we didn't get to say our last respects~~ little difficult to say the least.
So, with this, I ask that you all continue to pray for each of us and help us through this unbelievably crazy nightmare that I/we still hope to wake from.
OH YEAH~~ can't forget this:::
The St. Jude Dream Home is going up quickly. If you haven't purchased your ticket I strongly urge you to get involved, purchase your chance, and maybe win another Darrel Sweets' marvelously constructed home. We all know that the ticket price goes to a great GREAT cause!!!! And, if you don't know, just ask me!!!!
With love from my angel's wings,
Kim, Em and Daddy R
Written Jun 26, 2011 5:17pm
We have approached the eleventh-month mark today since Robert earned his wings. As I stated on Facebook a while back “It hasn’t got easier but we are learning to live in a different way with this.” Yes, we do smile and laugh more and we have gotten into a different kind of pattern. There was a routine off and on for the almost three years dealing and battling the cancer. There is still a very deep hole, a void, that despite how much love I share and give Emily or my/our illegitimate children (Robert’s closest friends, nephews, my niece, and some others , they will always be part of my heart and my house too), it will never be filled. It will probably mend eventually sometime I guess, but will never be the same.
I have a big announcement, to those who haven’t read on Facebook about the release of a new book. This book is called “Why Stars Are In the Sky” by Joe T. Charles from New York. The story line is a children’s book and to see how good, you just need to read it. The synopsis is how God created the universe and how God uses the angels to help him. However, this one little angel has been assigned a task. Unfortunately, the little angel spills “lights” onto the floor of Heaven. He tries to clean them up but God has another idea, His idea is called stars.
There are three people from Butler County who are in the book. Robert represents one of the Heavenly angels. Andrea’ Coleman represents the second angel who earned her wings. And, the third is one of my EARTHLY angels, my nephew, Andrew. There was a book release on Thursday afternoon. The illustrator, Donna Heath-Brooks was in attendance as well as the publisher, Linda Hawkins from Heart to Heart Publishing. GREAT JOB LINDA! Ms. Donna has done exclusive works for Home Interior and also the Bradford Exchange. She has also done Leaning Tree cards. She did a miraculous job with the illustrations!!! The Coleman family as well as our family were presented with an oil painting of our angels. To get a glimpse of the book, I’m adding the link to WBKO.com or go to WBKO Bowling Green KY and search Cunningham or Coleman.
Should you want a copy of the book, copies are $20 and I have them for sale. If you are out of town, unfortunately, I will need shipping costs. Leave me a message on the Guestbook section with your email address and I will get back to you soon and make arrangements to get a copy of the book to you. Or locally, books will be available at All Mart or at Granna Betty’s until her door closes (now the end of July) or we will have a booth at the Catfish Festival.
Robert continues to show me he is watching and things happen that have NO OTHER explanation. Last Sunday night, I was in the back bathroom (Robert Myles' and Emily’s bathroom) drying my hair. I was holding my head upside down. Our sweet Lucy was sitting beside me (which she never does if I have the hair dryer—she hates it). All of a sudden, Lucy jumped and scrambled backwards under my feet, and into the wall. She was scared! I dried a bit more, then flipped up, and looked expecting to see Daddy Robert or Emily holding the fly swat (she is scared of that needless to say). There was no one standing there. There was no noise in the hall. There was nothing there. So with that, I jokingly said “Robert quit doing whatever you’re doing, you’re scaring Lucy”. Then, almost as soon as I said it, Lucy came out from under my legs, and her ears eventually picked back up. As kind of a background for the day, sometimes I open the door to Robert’s room but most of the time we leave it closed. However, last Sunday morning, I opened the door. Lucy never left me and continued to sit while I dried my hair. What gets me is that she never barked. If something scares her, she will generally bark, back off a minute to assess the area, and then go after whatever. She never did.
I thought I would post today. It seems I hardly want to lately. I keep saying that I will share some of the stories from the cruise so this was, I believe, one of the most memorable for us. Our second day on the cruise, we were out to sea. All the kids wanted to go to the water park portion of the ship. Robert Myles and Matthew talked me into going on the big round/round water slide. We waited and waited at the long line, we finally got to go and I thought it was pretty cool. However, Robert Myles talked Papaw Ronnie onto getting on another, the quick-drop water slide. Most of us KIDS (Matthew, Andrew, Pat, Amy, Pap, Robert and me) eventually went down SEVERAL times. You could plan the parallel slides drop so you and your partner could go down at the same time--to race. So, next came Robert Myles and Papaw. However, there was a problem, it was Papaw’s first time to slide and Robert didn’t’ tell him to hold his feet down. Robert and Pap came off at the same time and Pap was actually beating him, until Pap hit the water, turned sideways, got water in his ear and lost the race when Robert Myles traveled almost to the end of the slide. Robert Myles enjoyed that so much. Of course, they both got up digging shorts out and laughing. So, it’s things like this that I would like to share the next time I write.
We had special friends from St. Jude visit us yesterday, the Willman clan. It was absolutely phenomenal!! They actually live in Missouri, near Joplin, but we met at St. Jude in September, 2007. Emily and I took Jaxton and Jayson fishing for their very first time ever (and Matthew was with us). We had planned on riding 4-wheelers afterward, but the rain stopped that plan. Susan and Andy, I’m so glad you all came!!!! Momma Susan got to see cows up close and personal…LOL. We miss you sooo much already!!!
Thank you to Mr. Dennis Snyder who found our balloon from Robert’s birthday balloon release on the very next day, almost in Knoxville Tennessee…
Remember Carissa Barrett in prayer. She continues her battle at St. Jude. Also remember Robert’s little buddy, Jack Bruce, from St. Jude. He became a big brother on Friday!!! Continue to remember each and every doctor and nurse at St. Jude.
And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so. And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good. GENESIS 1:15-18.
Written Mar 30, 2011 10:31pmIt’s been about 2 months again since I’ve updated. I do intend to write sooner than later and will update with something pretty unique coming about.
I do promise to write more about our cruise and our sweet 2010 summer, but for now, just a few things to update:
Robert would have been 16 years old on April 3. To celebrate this fun birthday, we are doing a balloon lift-off for his SWEET 16 BIRTHDAY. This will take place at the Lee Cemetery at 1:30 on Saturday (April 2) YES, just prior to the UK game. There will be blue and white cupcakes for our teams—Butler County, the Colts, and of course, our Kentucky Wildcats. The address for a GPS would be 100 Cane Ridge Road, Morgantown. There is no official address, but plug that address in and you should get there just fine.
Parking will be behind the cemetery. Pull into the cemetery drive and enter through the open fence on the right. Parking will be in Papaw/Granna’s field. Bring a sharpie marker to sign your name or to put a small message on the balloon tag.
There are other states also participating in the balloon lift-off at the same time. These are North Carolina, South Carolina, Arizona, and New York. Then, there will be special balloons sent up from Florida too. Come join us for Robert’s birthday celebration.
Please remember Uncle Kendall Hatcher’s family in your prayers. He passed away Tuesday night from that STINKIN’ MONSTER called cancer!! I HATE cancer!!!!! I HATE IT!!!!! I HATE IT!!!! I HATE IT!!!!!
Please remember a special lady, Delta Felts, as she recovers from surgery.
Good Luck to the BCHS Marching Band when they play at Disney World in Florida this week!!
Continue to remember our family as we continue to find growing pains and reach another growing pain milestone this weekend. Robert earned his wings 8 months last Saturday. Since I posted last, I have went to his room and asked what he wanted for dinner and have found myself in his room to get his dirty clothes. Some days we just walk, some days we smile and can walk without stumbling, and some days our feet stick in the mud.
Also, a special birthday wish to some VERY special people in our lives--- Aunt Sidney Chapman, Pappie Jut Jenkins, Zeb Pendley, and Uncle Carl Phelps. And, of course, our guy--- Robert Myles Cunningham.
With our love to heaven and back—flying high on your angel’s wings!! LOVE AND MISS YOU BUBBY!!