Dear Friends; For some of you receiving this email, this will be your first update since I went in for colorectal cancer surgery on Jan. 22. We were away from the computer and could not update you. For others, we were put on caringbridge.com by my daughter in law, Sharon, and you received regular updates. So here is what I consider the final update.
I entered the Abbott Northwestern hospital on Jan 22 and the surgery was uneventful except the doctor said I had the narrowest pelvis he had ever seen and that made for some difficulties. I stayed extra days in the hospital due to the fact that I could not tolerate solid food the first time it was introduced and had to have a stomach tube for a couple of days. Nasty business! I returned home to Mountain Lake on Friday Feb. 1. I am extremely sore in the affected areas. There will be a consultation with the doctor in about a month and it will be discussed if I am to have further chemo treatments. The pathologist's report indicated "no residual cancer remaining." So that is good news.
So, let me thank all of you for your prayer, your "labor of love" on my behalf and that of Lois. Lois was able to stay in the hospital in my room and even got a guest tray for her meals. However, she got the flu and had to return to our son's home about 3 days before I went home. I did not get the flu and have not even had a cold this winter. Maybe I am so full of drugs that I am immortal.
I discovered some things:
1. There are some times when you are so sick that you cannot even pray for yourself. Prayer was the furthest thing from my mind. I believe it is then that the value of others praying for you is most evident. Lois said she was under such stress that she could not pray either. But we were upheld! For those that followed on caringbridge.com, we recorded over 900 "hits" mostly of people reading the updates and telling us they were praying for us. What a resource! This is the Body of Christ at its best. The apostle Paul said that it was when he "despaired of life' that He saw God move most mightily. It was when he had no confidence in the flesh that God was glorified in his body. Wow!.
2. At a low point following surgery, I was alone in the wee hours of the morning in my room. I think Lois was there, but I was not aware of her. I was in pain and unable to sleep and my body was under stress. But people were praying even in those wee hours. I received a letter from Montana confirming that. At any rate, while I was in that state, the door to the room opened and the night nurse, Frances, came in, I suppose to take my vitals. She asked me three unusual questions: A. Are you a pastor? "Yes" B. Are you retired? "Yes" 3 Are you retired from God? "No" ( later I realized this was strangely similar to three questions my radiation oncologist had asked months before, before initiating a spiritual conversation. I think I reported that earlier.) After I had answered the third question, this nurse (African American) broke into a little chorus in her native language of Liberia. She sang it quietly and than sang it in English. It was about God's comfort in time of fear and loneliness. She took my vitals and then left the room. That was the only night she was my nurse! I saw her a couple of days later and mentioned what a blessing that little incident was. God came into my room at a low point and lifted me. How could I doubt His love even when I could not pray for myself. He sent an "angel" to minister to me. Lois was in the room, but does not remember the incident. I guess it was for me alone. I tried to reconcile the timing of her appearance with the time a couple wrote and said they were specifically praying in the wee hours of the morning, but I was unable to confirm the date or time exactly. But somebody was praying. Thank you, whoever you were who prayed for me that night when I was not praying for myself.
3. The night before we left for the hospital I taught a session of "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackeby to my group of senior citizens. One of the questions we were asked to complete was this: "What was the most meaningful statement or Scripture you found this week." And the answer that struck me was this: "God has the right to interrupt my life any time He wants to do so. He is the Lord." I told the people, "I think that my life is about to be interrupted for a period of time." Cancer is an interruption. But it is good to know at the same time that. "It is the Lord." It reminded my of a Bible story in I Sam. 3 where Samuel the prophet has to give some bad news to Eli the priest. Eli's response was this: "It is the Lord; let Him do what seemeth Him best." Job said that he took good things gladly from the hand of the Lord, so why should we be afraid to take "bad" things. It is the same Lord. And He loves us. Even so called bad things, like cancer interruptions, can be turned into good things when we surrender our lives to the Lord. I made Jesus the Lord of my life years ago and I have never been sorry. So I seek to welcome into my life whatever the Lord sends my way. Cancer is harder to receive than chocolate chip cookies, but it is the same Lord and I need to remember that.
4. One of the things the hospital offers patients in order to "be all things to all men," is something called alternative, integrative, healthcare. It includes such things as massage, reflexology, deep breathing exercises and a host of other things to help people relax. So a couple of times this lady comes into the room and sweetly offers these things to me. The first time, to be kind to her, I let her massage my feet. I don't think that did any permanent damage to my feet. The second time, she wanted to help me relax by talking me out of my stress. I was lying on my back and I admitted that my muscles were tense. So she wanted to me breathe deeply and every time I exhaled I was to speak some sort of "mantra." I asked what that was and she said it could be anything, but some people used the name of their god. I said that it sounded a bit like yoga, or transcendental meditation or "new age." She never used those words, but I was not born yesterday. She said that if that thought bothered me, I could skip that. Anyway since I was lying there trying to relax she started to speak and I closed my eyes and she began in a soft voice to speak away my tension starting with my toes and moving up and she said that when she was done, I would be asleep and she would just tippy toe out of the room. So I breathed deeply and she spoke to all my muscles and nerves and bade the tension go. They didn't listen very well. She finally finished and tippy toed out of the room for which I was thankful. But I was not helped. Then I realized that I had my own relaxation method and I had not been using it. It is found in Philippians chapter 4. It goes like this: 6. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I decided right there I did not need any alternative to God for my care and concern. I can cast all my cares upon Him because He cares for me.
5. One of the ways for old men to amuse themselves and pass time in the hospital is to tease the pretty young nurses. I got pretty good at that. There was this nice girl from Mankato who was in nurse's training and part of her training was to aid in my treatment. So, one day I said to her, "Krystal, it seems a shame to me that a nice young girl like you has to spend her days with old men with cancer and colostomies when you could be thinking about boyfriends, and marriage and family and houses and parties etc." She had a pretty good response. And she had the most beautiful teeth I have ever seen.
All in all things went pretty well. I surprised my children who think of me as a sour old ogre because they saw me singing and laughing and upbeat much of the time. My faith triumphed over all that was being thrown at me. And I would have to say, I am a bit amazed at myself.
But thank you all for praying and standing with me through all of this. It is very easy for people to promise to pray for you when you ask them to do so, It is another things for them to keep on praying for weeks during a longer time of personal stress. I have not been as faithful at praying for others as they have been for me. It humbles me a great deal. To think that I am worthy of your concern for weeks of your life is incredibly humbling. God bless you.
Richard and Lois Korns
