HUGE lesson learned today...I have to remember to ask if a place is handicap accessible before ordering tickets.  Our 7 year anniversary is this Monday and I've been racking my brain trying to come up with something different we can do besides just dinner.  We're pretty restricted this year and we can't go far.  So, I made reservations for the Mystery Cafe, something we've never done before.  It's a show/dinner where you are active participants in the murder mystery.  So I got tickets and was excited.  Then RD said, "Did you tell them I'm in a wheelchair?"  So, I called back and discovered it's not handicap accessible thus cancelling our reservations and getting a refund for our tickets.  GRRR!  The reality of RD's limitations are becoming more real.  I hate that he has to deal with that.  I can't imagine how it feels to be told you cannot enter a place because there's no elevator.  Thankfully we found out in advance...or that would have really stunk!  I've never been so aware in all of my life of how non accessible so many places are.  It is more apparent to us that there will be restrictions to deal with for the rest of our life.  This is definitely one of the most frustrating things!  And if I'm honest...this summer has been difficult for me. I'm processing the jealousy in my heart as people around us do things we cannot...like take a vacation, go camping, go out on a lake/boat, go miniature golfing or go carting, go swimming as a family, or even go visit my family 2 hours away. Almost 11 months have gone by...seasons continue to pass us by with us still so restricted.  I don't say this for you to feel pity on us, but it is just one of the difficulties of our present reality.  If I'm honest, I'm also dealing with jealousy of couples who seem to be so in love with little or no struggles and have this lustful attraction/intimate life.  It's hard for me...makes me want to stay home instead.  It's a tough reality of our present life right in my face.  I'm learning to deal with it, but it's hard and not exactly enjoyable.  It's not other people's fault...it's all me.  This is just my sinfulness oozing out and something I need to work through because jealousy is not good for the soul.

So, as I was just typing and processing my thoughts, I feel like God whispered into my ear, "The only way to combat jealousy is to profess thankfulness and focus on the positive...the things you can do."  It is all too easy to go down a bunny trail of struggles and frustrations thinking of the things we lost.  So, here I am forcing myself to be obedient...to be grateful.  

I'm thankful we can still go to Indians games despite that we are restricted to certain seats.  I'm thankful we can still go to the park together.  I'm thankful we can go to the Children's Museum and the Zoo still.  I'm thankful our house is accessible for RD and we can be in almost any room.  I'm thankful the deck is done so RD is able to go on it this summer and that we can still do one of our favorite things...eat outside.  I'm thankful that I don't "need" to do all the things other people are doing.  I'm thankful God has been providing gifts from people with things for us to do...like tickets to events and gift certificates to the spa.  I'm definitely thankful for my spa experiences.  (I've had more spa moments the past 11 months than any year ever.)  I'm also thankful for my pretty flowers and garden of yummy vegetables that keeps me amazed and surrounded by God's beauty.  I'm thankful we are spending more time at home as a family...and life is a little more low key than ever before.  (We don't plan as much as we used to.)  I'm thankful I am sleeping most nights in the same room as RD and that helps us have more time to connect with each other.  I'm thankful that life as I know it right now is NOT how it will always be...that this is just a season.  I'm thankful that this too shall pass.  (I'm thankful for more than this...but I won't bore you!)