I want to take some time today to reflect on this past Wednesday and Thursday.
Rachael's wake on Wednesday - this is going to sound odd - was surprisingly refreshing. I fully expected to be sad and weepy, and just overall not good company at all, but I rather enjoyed the presence of all of our family and friends. It has been such a long lonely journey for Rachael and I and our immediate families that I think we were all happy to see those who had been silently supporting us along our journey with thoughts and prayers, and those who had visibly been supporting us with meals, cards, and phone calls. Looking back, I now know that all the quiet nights I spent in hospital rooms with Rachael were not in solitude - you were all there with me. Thank you.
Her funeral service on Thursday was well-attended - I don't think there was an empty seat in the whole church. Those who saw me before the service during the visitation noted that I was holding myself together quite well, and I had intended to do the same through most of the service. When I walked in to the sanctuary, I didn't notice any of the people - I was concentrating on not tripping on the way to my seat. Once my family had trickled in behind me, I took a moment to look behind me and around the sanctuary at the multitude of people in attendance, and I was so overwhelmed that I broke down in tears. The service was beautiful, and a special thanks to Christy Burrows and Dr. Amy Schreiner, who each shared their own anecdotes about times they spent with Rachael.
After the service at church, we went over to Greenwood Cemetery for the graveside service. It was very difficult for me to watch Rachael being brought to her final resting place. Towards the end of the service, Marsha Friedrichs carried a dove around the circle of those who had gathered and invited anyone who wanted to touch the dove and send their wishes into Heaven with Rachael. After going around the circle, Marsha brought the dove back to me, where I held on to it for several moments then released it. I broke down again as this was symbolically the most devastating to me - I was letting Rachael go for the last time.
There have been so many people who have helped us over the last six months that it would be incredibly time-consuming to list all of them. Please don't take offense if you are not listed explicitly. Those who we would like to thank here are as follows in no particular order: Pastor Janet Ellinger at the United Methodist Church, Brian and Jodie at Bakken-Young Funeral Homes, Angela Pike at the Rochester Hilton, the staff at both Lakeview Hospital in Stillwater and Mayo in Rochester, John Levi at Thrivent Financial for Lutherans, Debbie Griffin at the River Falls Journal, and our friends at United Methodist Church. Those who are listed and many hundreds of others have been helping us through this very difficult time.
It has been said that 'it takes a village to raise a child.' Through the outpouring of support that all of us have seen, I know that I will not be alone in reminding Makayla of what a loving Mommy she had.
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