I am not a good writer. To show my appreciation for many of you who have share your love to my sister Penny and my family, here is a brief summary of the last journey I spent with my sister: (not so brief afterall :)

June 30 I felt so good to see my sister Penny again. It was heartbreaking whenever I have to leave her and go back to my normal routine with the fact of not knowing if it's the last time I was able to see her. And I knew this time she would wait for me. Although she had a stroke for a week, she was conscious and able to communicate non-verbally.

On the night of June 30, I had the most amazing night with my sister Penny. The night was quiet, Penny was alert and I was alone with her. She definitely knew I was back cheering for her. I was singing to her and asking her questions about our childhood memories. I am so amazed that she remembered most of the memories and answered my 'Yes/No' questions by squeezing my hand once or twice. She touched the laptop screen when browsing through her niece and nephew pictures. I knew she was happy and content.

I could not say enough how proud I am of my sister Penny. Many close friends and families would know how strong her desire of wanting to live. When I was feeding her with a packaged liquid, she grabbed the package to show me that she was still able to drink it on her own. And I asked her if she wants to show doctors that she is well enough that she could go home and she indicated to me -- "Yes".

July 1^st 5:30a.m I remembered clearly that Penny indicated heart pain. Soon after fever and other complications started, with her rapid breathing, doctor advised to start morphine usage. When I saw her again that afternoon, she was completely out of conscious. Although I questioned nurses for the additional morphine doses, with my ignorance in medical knowledge, Penny was still unconscious. I was thankful that my brother-in-law saved my sister. With his medical background, he questioned the on-call doctor and they admitted that Penny was overdosed and she was given an anti-dose afterwards.

July 2^nd Penny was starting to regain conscious. Doctors advised family that only days were left for my sister to live. Knowing her will of passing at home, we arranged Penny home that evening. Although experienced nurse told us she would not be able to make it in the ambulance or through Wednesday night. Penny still made it through.

July 3^rd Allan and I started to worry if no IV fluids at home would make Penny felt hungry or thirsty. Although doctors and nurses indicated terminally ill patients not needed the fluids, my sister’s loving husband searched through Singapore to find a private doctor and nurses for home care for her.

July 4^th Not to mention that days and night Allan had to switch a new oxygen tanks every couple hours at home, I couldn’t tell you how stressful that was when oxygen tank almost ran out. Anyway, we took turn to stay close to my sister whenever possible. With the private doctor and nurses arrived, we felt better that Penny was given a better care at home.

July 5^th My sister’s health condition was worsen with the unstable and low blood pressure and lower oxygen intake. We knew that time might be running out. During her passing, Allan and I were amazed my sister who had stopped breathing more than 10 times would come back breathing when she heard our voice.

I would be lying if I am telling you that we were not devastated.

For many of you have seen so many friends and families who traveled long distance from Kuala Lumpur, Ipoh, Penang, Hong Kong just to see and encourage Penny has shown what a good friend and family member she is. And also friends in J.B. and Singapore who had constantly took time to visit and help her, you know I could not thank you enough. And all the support my sister received online through this blog, emails and phone calls, I sincerely thank all of you for that. Sorry that I couldn’t put all your names down as I don’t want to miss anyone of you. Please pass this message to people you know that I was unable to thank for.

I thank two moms who are selflessly dedicated past three years taking care of my sister, her loving husband that I got to know at her last stage of life who loves her so dearly in his heart and my understanding husband taking care of my sick kid to let me be by my sister.

For all good-hearted people who read this message, I thank you and sincerely hope you continuously have a good health and good life!! And hope Penny's story would inspire you even more.

To my dearest sister and my very best friend:

Rest in peace till the day we shall meet again. J

Best wishes from the bottom of my heart,

Meng Che

p/s: Another thought to share, please let the family cry out loud to mourn for those who passed away. My personal experience of being interfered of "not to cry out loud" disturbed my mourning emtion :) So, please let the family be what they want to be, thanks.