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Most of us in life may never experience what I would refer to as an "out of body" experience. Perhaps a few spiritual leaders in history have achieved this via higher discipline of cognition and purpose. Unfortunately, this experience can more likely result from near death, confusion, and fear. In my efforts to understand the events of this past week, I realize that I have been faced with no less than 3 "out of body" experiences. Monday I was struck by a seizure while driving only blocks from my house after a morning at work. Without unnecessary detail this most certainly was the first such experience. Soon after came an ambulance and hospital experience which included simple questions for which I had all the answers but was unable to verbalize. As a result of this disconnection, confusion and subsequent frustration, I found myself for the second time in two days seemingly observing the situation from afar. Not an experience I have begun to comprehend.
Most recently my wife Andrea and I attended a meeting to discuss pathology results and treatment options. This perhaps was the most surreal and upsetting experience for me for the very reason that my wife herself experienced the same sensation. Together we seemed to be completely separated from ourselves, looking down and unable to comprehend the data. I still cannot explain this, and maybe never will be able to. The pathology report revealed Stage IV, Glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer. The prognosis we were given is perhaps what sent us out of body. I can tell you it was not what we wanted to hear, but we were informed it is simply an estimation and not an accurate number. We have a treatment plan and are looking at all clinical study alternatives as well. We will remain positive and vigilant for the sake of Ethan and Brandon. I will continue to give updates and insights as I can.