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I had such a great  lunch today.  I was supposed to meet two sweet friends.  One got sick.  I hope she is feeling better now.  But my other friend and I solved numerous world problems today.  Mostly though, we worked through ours, mostly mine.

She has first hand experience with the loss of a loved one, after spending a long amount of time trying to find healing for them.   She always helps me put things into perspective because I know she has been here and made it through.  She understands the emotions, the highs and lows, the long days and longer nights.  I can be totally open with her and she gets it.  No punches pulled, just honest experience.  It helps to visit with her and find out that I am not going crazy.  While circumstances were very different, many things were similar enough that she can help me.  We had a very long talk. 

I dreamed about NOlan last night.  First time since his death.  I usually dream about painting furniture, cleaning closets, houses, but I have not been able to dream about Nolan.  I have tried to make myself dream of him but it never works.  Last night I dreamed he was here.  He was young and strong and loud.  And so sweet.  For the first time in a very very long time, I felt warm and loved and safe.  But the dogs woke me up and I never could get the dream back.  That left me feeling empty and sad.  I woke up very sad.  And teary.  I can't decide if God was showing me how NOlan is....strong and young and vibrant  or if I just see too many of those military family reunions.  But I would love to have that feeling back....safe and loved.  I have just been on edge all day.  some days are like that.  Today was one.

I picked up my taxes.  Pretty painless.  At least as far as taxes go.  I also picked up some stuff for my dogs for ticks and fleas.  Supposed to be really good.  I hope so.  Max has such long hair that it is almost impossible to find a tick on him.  I can usually see any on Playa.  I keep a close watch on little Gizmo.  He is too young for the repellent.  And then I came home.  Just sat in the backyard with the dogs.  Gizmo was happy.  He was outside and so was I.  That makes him very happy.  I just laid in the glider and watched planes and birds.  I did find enough oomph to put a coat of varnish on the little cabinet.  It should be dry tomorrow and I can put the glass back in the door and deliver it on Friday or Saturday.  That was my day.

Please pray for the family that lost their loved one.  I feel for them.  continue to pray for all those in need.  A friend asked for prayers for financial aid to help her attend classes.  Sometimes the list just makes me so very sad.  Seeing so many that I care about struggling.  I know that God has them in His plans.  I am glad I am constantly reminded that God is in control. I can lift my friends and family in prayer and He hears. They are in the perfect place, in God's care. Please pray for Josh and Kara's move to the new house to go smoothly and for the sale of my house. There is a perfect family out there for my house. Pray for all the issues that are still lingering. Pray that God makes clear His path for me. Sometimes I don't see so well!!!

I am hoping for less wind in the days to come. I have so much that needs done. I need to get started. It won't get done any other way. Weeds are beginning to pop up and need sprayed. The yard needs swept. The fence has got to be fixed. The list goes on and on. It is overwhelming but has to be done. I just need to find the inertia to get started on some of it. Maybe it will rain and I can stay in. Get a few more days reprieve. Oh well, I need to just suck it up and get out there. Get started. Can't get started til the weekend though. More therapy tomorrow and a trip to Clovis Friday afternoon. So my weekend will be weeding and sweeping if it does not rain. Praying for rain!!!!!

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