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Make Sure Nick Is Not Alone This Holiday Season

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365 days.......

As I have many times before I have started this entry about ten times, saying ten different things and having about ten different emotions. It is one year today that our beloved Nick left this earthly world...365 days since I have seen, touched, hugged or spoke to the man I told my sisters I wanted to marry after our first date. In someways it feels like it has been longer, yet I can tell you about minute for minute what happened May 29th, 2013. The year has been filled with many "firsts" without Nick and when I was prepared for tears they did not come, it was the times when I least expected it that the emotion would hit and soon my eyes would sting with tears.

So many things changed that day....our future as a couple, our future as a family, so many memories stolen before they could be remembered. The fairy tale was being rewritten and the ending was not what we wanted to read. Riley and Reece have been cheated out of the most wonderful dad. Nick adored Riley and Reece and he was the best dad...he was the one to stay home with sick kids, he made them breakfast every morning, he was the one who gave 4-wheeler rides and was the first to pull the kids in the tube up north. As Nick became less involved because of his disease my goal is to help them to remember the fun, active, handsome man he was. Its my job to keep their daddy "alive" with stories, photos and keepsakes.

Many people have asked how we are feeling about tomorrow and yet another first....the kids and I are planning on spending the day together and then spend the night with family cheering on Reece for his first baseball game.

This obviously is not the road I thought I would be on, and I was very scared to take this detour life has so rudely sent us on. What I can say is that I was so lucky to married to such a wonderful man and be the mother to his two beautiful kids. Riley and Reece are a constant reminder to all of us that Nick is always around us and how great of a guy he really was. If I had somehow know this was the outcome, I still would have chosen him as my husband and best friend.

I am going to try very hard to remember all the good and wonderful memories we had over the years and be thankful for the life we shared.

Thanks for checking in....

Colleen
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Comments

30 Comments

Jane Davis
By
Colleen, I have read every one of your updates with tears in my eyes. You have a way of expressing yourself that has allowed us to share your pain as well as your tender moments of reflection. Thank you for allowing us all to be part of your journey. I was not fortunate enough to know Nick other than a brief meeting, but feel blessed to know you. You are an amazing woman, mother, sister and friend.
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Judy Perkins
By Judy Perkins
Sending thoughts, prayers and love to you Colleen and Riley and Reese.
Mary Helmer
By
Hugs to you and the Kiddos today and everyday. Not a day goes by that Nick's name is brought up at work, sometimes the word beer is in the conversation lol. We are truly blessed to have had Nick a part of the H & F Family. And as blessed to have You, Riley and Reece a part of this wonderful work family. Love you all to Heaven and back.
Heidi Caya
By Heidi Caya
Thinking of you all today and many times through this last year. You all amaze me and I love seeing all your moments. Sending you all love and hugs. Such a beautiful post!
Ann Jahnke
By Ann Jahnke
Colleen and Family, my heart goes out to you. To love and lose the person we plan to spend our entire life with hurts so bad, and that hurt never goes away. To lose a parent, or child leaves a real void in our hearts. Thoughts will come and tears will fall. Thank God we have beautiful memories of our loved ones. Colleen, you are doing a great job of keeping Nick's memory alive. Have a memorable day. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. God's blessings to all. Love, Aunt Ann
Sally Nugent
By Sally Nugent
We all miss Nick, but the loss of your dear Nick ...can't if.nd the word such a heartache.....the tug will always keep him near. God Bless your family!
Sally Nugent
By Sally Nugent
We all miss Nick, but the loss of your dear Nick ...can't if.nd the word such a heartache.....the tug will always keep him near. God Bless your family!
Sally Nugent
By Sally Nugent
We all miss Nick, but the loss of your dear Nick ...can't if.nd the word such a heartache.....the tug will always keep him near. God Bless your family!
Stephanie Jensen
By Stephanie Jensen
That was a wonderful post. Thinking of u today and always!
Judy Larson
By
Colleen, thanks for posting this. Nick was a wonderful person, taken from us too soon. You are a great Mom too and have two great kids. Your story is another reminder that we need to live each day and tell the ones we love that we do LOVE THEM. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Hang in there girl and love those kids oodle and gobs!