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Nick’s Story

On January 5th, 2011 Nick has a seizure and was diagnosed with a brain tumor...over the last 2 years Nick has undergone several surgeries, chemo, radiation and other medical procedures...Both regions and Mayo suggested contacting Hospice to aide in this next stage of his disease. Please join with me and pray for Nick, our families, and especially our sweet kids Riley and Reece. Much love, Colleen

Latest Journal Update

365 days.......

As I have many times before I have started this entry about ten times, saying ten different things and having about ten different emotions. It is one year today that our beloved Nick left this earthly world...365 days since I have seen, touched, hugged or spoke to the man I told my sisters I wanted to marry after our first date. In someways it feels like it has been longer, yet I can tell you about minute for minute what happened May 29th, 2013. The year has been filled with many "firsts" without Nick and when I was prepared for tears they did not come, it was the times when I least expected it that the emotion would hit and soon my eyes would sting with tears.

So many things changed that day....our future as a couple, our future as a family, so many memories stolen before they could be remembered. The fairy tale was being rewritten and the ending was not what we wanted to read. Riley and Reece have been cheated out of the most wonderful dad. Nick adored Riley and Reece and he was the best dad...he was the one to stay home with sick kids, he made them breakfast every morning, he was the one who gave 4-wheeler rides and was the first to pull the kids in the tube up north. As Nick became less involved because of his disease my goal is to help them to remember the fun, active, handsome man he was. Its my job to keep their daddy "alive" with stories, photos and keepsakes.

Many people have asked how we are feeling about tomorrow and yet another first....the kids and I are planning on spending the day together and then spend the night with family cheering on Reece for his first baseball game.

This obviously is not the road I thought I would be on, and I was very scared to take this detour life has so rudely sent us on. What I can say is that I was so lucky to married to such a wonderful man and be the mother to his two beautiful kids. Riley and Reece are a constant reminder to all of us that Nick is always around us and how great of a guy he really was. If I had somehow know this was the outcome, I still would have chosen him as my husband and best friend.

I am going to try very hard to remember all the good and wonderful memories we had over the years and be thankful for the life we shared.

Thanks for checking in....

Colleen
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Comments

30 Comments

Janie White
By
Our thoughts are with you all today...& every day. Continue to keep those "fun & happy" memories of Nick alive -- it's what helps you get through those tough days.
Jane Leonard
By Jane Leonard
Love and hugs to you, Riley and Reece. Go Reece! Have a great time tonight. Nick will be there too.
Jim K
By Jim K
Colleen and Family, I greatly can appreciate your beautiful writings and reflections... Thank you so much for sharing! Thoughts and Prayer continue to surround you all.
wendy marson
By wendy marson
Dear Colleen - You are my hero. You live your life with such grace and kindness. I wish you and your children nothing but the best going forward. I'm so glad I met you in boot camp.
C. Anderson
By C. Anderson
Hugs and prayers to you all, not only today but every day. Your post is beautifully written Colleen.
Peggy Kugel
By Peggy Kugel
I have thought about you, Riley and Reece a lot this past year. Your memories are so important and will continue to bring you joy as you live each day. Hugs to all of you!
Jana Feyereisen
By Jana Feyereisen
Thank you for sharing your heart ...the never ending love story is right there ! I love you sweet girl , and I pray for you strength to continue living a beautiful life full of great memories of Nick until one day you will see him again and the joy will start all over again ....
Cheryl  Dintemann
By cd
Love you Colleen!
Tracie LaRue
By Tracie LaRue
Love you!
Nancy Bauer
By Nancy Bauer
I feel your pain as we also just shared our first anniversary as a family of the one year anniversary of losing Jeremy Sabelko. It is so hard to believe these wonderful daddies/sons/ husbands have been gone for a year already. All we can do is cherish the memories. And as you say, keep those memories alive for the kids who were robbed of their dads. The firsts are always the hardest. I lost my first husband to cancer. So I know this first hand. But we were not married long enough to be blessed with children. He was sick before we even got married. I was 20 and he was 22. The day before the anniversary of Jeremy's death was the 39th anniversary of the death of my husband. Although being a single mom is a huge challenge at times, you are so lucky to have Nick's children. Life does go on and time does heal. But the hole in your heart will always be there. At times it will seem like a bad dream. Other times it seems like yesterday. Take one day at a time. And if that becomes difficult...take one hour at a time. Cancer is so cruel. Sending hugs to you and the kids. (Amber's mom)