On January 5th, 2011 Nick has a seizure and was diagnosed with a brain tumor...over the last 2 years Nick has undergone several surgeries, chemo, radiation and other medical procedures...Both regions and Mayo suggested contacting Hospice to aide in this next stage of his disease. Please join with me and pray for Nick, our families, and especially our sweet kids Riley and Reece. Much love, Colleen
As I have many times before I have started this entry about ten times, saying ten different things and having about ten different emotions. It is one year today that our beloved Nick left this earthly world...365 days since I have seen, touched, hugged or spoke to the man I told my sisters I wanted to marry after our first date. In someways it feels like it has been longer, yet I can tell you about minute for minute what happened May 29th, 2013. The year has been filled with many "firsts" without Nick and when I was prepared for tears they did not come, it was the times when I least expected it that the emotion would hit and soon my eyes would sting with tears.
So many things changed that day....our future as a couple, our future as a family, so many memories stolen before they could be remembered. The fairy tale was being rewritten and the ending was not what we wanted to read. Riley and Reece have been cheated out of the most wonderful dad. Nick adored Riley and Reece and he was the best dad...he was the one to stay home with sick kids, he made them breakfast every morning, he was the one who gave 4-wheeler rides and was the first to pull the kids in the tube up north. As Nick became less involved because of his disease my goal is to help them to remember the fun, active, handsome man he was. Its my job to keep their daddy "alive" with stories, photos and keepsakes.
Many people have asked how we are feeling about tomorrow and yet another first....the kids and I are planning on spending the day together and then spend the night with family cheering on Reece for his first baseball game.
This obviously is not the road I thought I would be on, and I was very scared to take this detour life has so rudely sent us on. What I can say is that I was so lucky to married to such a wonderful man and be the mother to his two beautiful kids. Riley and Reece are a constant reminder to all of us that Nick is always around us and how great of a guy he really was. If I had somehow know this was the outcome, I still would have chosen him as my husband and best friend.
I am going to try very hard to remember all the good and wonderful memories we had over the years and be thankful for the life we shared.