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Morgan’s Story

My name is Morgan Wildman.  Thanks for visiting my site.

I have an Ependymoma Stage IV malignant brain tumor. I first had it when I was eight years old.  It was really big (baseball size).

After two years, it came back.

It has been a long journey, please read the rest of my story and in my words.  Have a blessed day and thank the Lord for your life, all of it!      Morgan

I was having headaches everyday, and sleeping a lot. My Mom knew something was wrong, but she didn't know what. After our first family vacation together, we went to have my eyes checked and the Dr. found pressure on my eye vessels. I had an MRI that same day, they found I had a baseball size brain tumor. I was 8 years old.

I have to say I was scared, but this Bible verse helped me. What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.  Psalm 56:3 On March 5, 2009, I had a 10 hour surgery, and through it all God guided my surgeon, Dr. Donahue's hand. He did his best to remove all of it. 

I donated my long hair to Locks of Love so that they could make a wig for someone who would lose all of their hair.

I also had to have radiation treatments to see if it would help keep the cancer away. The mask that had my head bolted down was itchy and very tight, I could barely see or talk out of it. So we did that everyday for 31 treatments. It was a relief when we stopped the radiation. A few months later, a scab that hadn't gone away became infected, so we had surgery. It turned out to be a brain granuloma.

An MRI in April 2011, showed the cancer was back. So in June, the doctors gave me Sunitniab, 9-15 pills a day. This was to see if it could effect a new tumor growing. That was over 450 pills total.  Another verse that encouraged me was "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13. We had surgery on July 14th, 2011. Once again through it all, God was with me. But some thing different happened on this surgery, the right side of my face went completely numb. It got better day by day, but my face is still numb to this day. It's okay because it definitely is not as bad, because of the healing hand of God.

We had an MRI in March 2012. It wasn't what we wanted to hear. It was back. We had surgery again in April, but I wasn't as afraid because I knew Psalms 56:3-4. That same year, in July, I had my next MRI. It showed 3 months from surgery, the cancer was back again.  So we had these options 1. Have surgery 2. Radiation 3. Do nothing 4. Do a drug trial. I chose do a drug trial since if the drug shrunk it, I could have surgery. If it shrunk it completely, Yippee, if it didn't do anything, have surgery. So I had to take one chemo pill a day for 2 months. After a lot of side affects that weren't fun. Finally, I was off the drug. A little of my hair also changed colors at the top to a whitish color. Time for my next MRI.  Normally, I listen to music, but this time I watched a movie. It was so cool. Anyway, even though I wanted the tumor to be gone, no matter if the tumor shrunk, did nothing, grown, or was gone...I would Praise God.
 
We went outside to the gardens in front of the hospital. Mom and Dad broke the news, the cancer was growing and getting angrier. It was big much bigger than it was when I started the drug trial. In the middle of it, it was feeding and expanding on my blood vessels. When they told me, all I could do was sit there, take it in, and say it's Your Will LORD, not mine." And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. When we went to see Dr. Donahue, he said that if we had surgery it might cause my left eye to go blind or it could paralyze the left side of my body. There was nothing they could do, so we decided to spend each day like it's the last.
 
After Christmas, my tummy and head started hurting so bad. Was it the pressure in my head or what. I was getting constipated a lot and became bedridden for almost 2 weeks.  On January 6th 2013, I went to Cook's  to see if the experts could help. Never say NEVER to your fears, because they can always come true. I know this from experience. I had a NGTube inserted down my throat and Go Lightly therapy. Go Lightly is a joke that nobody laughs at because it does not make you Go Lightly. I really didn't know if it would make me feel better, i was so weak, so I said Romans 8:28 over and over. After, what felt like a very long time, we got to go home. Boy, was I glad to be home.
 
The Lord has been so good to me as I am fighting this cancer. I am now 12 years old. Please read my journal entries and write back to me. I love to read all your notes!   God Bless you.   Love, Morgan

Latest Journal Update

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Hello everyone,

Today marks 2 weeks since Morgan went to be with Jesus. To us, time seems to roll so slowly by. Morgan is everywhere. This can cause a smile of sweet remembrance or send us in a tailspin of grief.

Tony and I have been humbled and amazed at your encouragement and support. Thank you for the many ways you have showered us and our boys with love. We definitely could not have gone through these last 6 months, Morgan's last days, and afterwards without your vigilance in lifting us up to The Lord. Your emails, cards and prayers have all been such a blessing to us. Please forgive me, if I don’t reply to them all. We are overwhelmed. These days, time feels so surreal to us, as though we are in a nightmare and keep expecting to awaken.

We are trying to reorder our new 'normal' and set a determined purpose to our days of what is really important. Of course, nothing will be normal again. We want like to carry on Morgan's mantra of..."Making every day count as if it were your last!" It's hard. Morgan no longer needs our vigilant care and thank the Lord, she is no longer crying out in pain or needing our care. Yet, now it is the ones left behind that continue to need prayer, we do feel lost and often remember the worst memories of Morgan's pain. We sit on the porch swing and just listen to the singing of the birds. I look inside the pantry and do not know what to cook. There is so much that needs to be started and worked on at our house, but it continues to wait. We are doing the best we can, Tony and the boys finish the odd jobs, mow the yard, and I water and pick weeds and aimlessly clean. We went on camping trip before Tony has to go back to work. It was a good and needful time away.

We are thankful even as we are bewildered, God continues to hold us and shelter us in His arms. Our prayer is that God will use the pain we still carry to help us be more in attune to others in pain and be a light that points them to Christ. We are hoping that Morgan's life will remind us and others to step out of our comfort zone and be more compassionate and REAL, to embrace how much we all CAN DO every day that matters in the lives of your own family and of others. John 3:16 “For God so loved the WORLD that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” That wonderful verse tells us of the awesome love God has for us. It teaches us that anyone who believes in Jesus Christ will be saved. Also, we have a glorious HOPE that through God’s love and the death of Jesus Christ, we are promised eternal life in Heaven. This is REAL security that NOTHING, not cancer or the death of a loved one, can threaten. Romans 8:38-39

Again, Tony and I want to thank all of you. We pray that God will bless each one of you as you have been so faithful to His calling, lifting our family up in prayer and in using your amazing imagination to warm our hearts and help us heal. Galatians 6:2 "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."

This web page was created for Morgan and to keep everyone updated on her progress. So, we will soon be closing her Caring Bridge. Thank you for allowing Morgan and our family to share our journey. We do appreciate your continued prayers, finding the new normal is not an easy task.

Love and Prayers Always – The Wildman Family