It has been so long since we posted, so much has happened but not much has really changed. Today was a very difficult day for both Rebekah and I. We struggled with what to do today and how best to celebrate, honour and remember Molly. It really is something no parent should ever have to experience. We have always had a birthday tradition in our family, Rebekah makes cupcakes and we all eat them for breakfast! Not the most healthy breakfast but hey 6-7 times a year is ok. So this morning we all had cupcakes for Molly's birthday and after breakfast we made her birthday cards. We also talked about all the wonderful things about Molly that we miss. Emma misses her beautiful smile, Owen misses how nice & sweet she was, Kate misses dancing with her and Sara just misses playing with her best friend. The list of what we miss is far too long, seeing her beautiful face everyday, holding her in our arms and hearing her sweet voice. Yes we do have some wonderful memories but we also have some that haunt us everyday as we still struggle to come to terms with the things we have been through. We ended up taking Molly’s birthday cards, balloons and some flowers to her grave site. Today was beautiful but my heart was heavy all day. In fact my heart is no less heavy today than 136 days ago. We have been trying to adjust to this life back home without our little girl, getting the kids back into routine of school and me still looking for work. Our house is so quiet for most of the day, while the kids are at school. a quiet we have not experienced since before having kids. Molly has left a huge hole in our family and there is not a moment that passes without us noticing it. We have had our first Thanksgiving, Halloween and Birthdays all without Molly and it is hard to imagine that any of this will ever get any easier.