Happy New Year!!!!!
Well 2009 has begun and our family has been so blessed this holiday season
I am writing to you from one of the computers located in the family room upstairs on the hospital inpatient wing. I cannot tell you how many nights and days I have spent here in this very spot sending messages home when I had a few moments to spare. Many of them were to relate wonderful news of the blessings Mikey received here at St. Jude and then there were those other ones… The ones that I suffered to write… those heavy with the pain and anguish a mother feels when her child is hurting. The ones filled with fear. Fear that this horrid disease would finally win its battle over my precious little boy, fear of the unknown. Sitting here in this room brings back a flood of memories…the chatter of others as they take their turns at the computers to stay in touch with their loved ones back home. Then there is the sound of the jukebox playing someone’s music selection just over the window divider, some of those same songs that I would play for Mikey many times over the past three years. The emotions run deep here.
I must say that as this day drew nearer my heart ached as I pondered what lay ahead of us. None so powerful as last night when Mikey came to me and told me that he felt a knot on his neck and that it hurt. My fears came flooding back as I began the calm mothering “here let me look at it…oh I see…it is probably just a swollen gland…you must be fighting some inflammation…” what ever it took to calm his fears and my own. I told Mark about it at bedtime and we both tried our best to remain calm, yet we have both been terrified. I decided then that our first stop today was to A Clinic to see someone about it right away. When Ms. Martha looked at it and said it was nothing, just inflammation and sinus drip I felt the tears wellling up and there was no holding back. She just gave me a big hug knowing what I had been thinking...Cancer. So it looks like things are going well as of now. Mikey is sitting here beside me eager to get outta here, so I will finally end my chapter here. He looks great, Dr. Morris was thrilled to see him and his progress...we see Dr. Pui on Thursday morning and the test results will be in then...Prayers for more good news, no leukemia. Blessings to all and especially my mom who goes into surgery tomorrow...more on that later. God Bless.
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