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Day +866

Happy New Year!!!

I know that it isn't officially here yet but probably by the time that I update again it will be. Christmas was a huge success. Micah decided that he could stay up and wait on Santa and catch him in the act of filling the stockings. He was almost correct. He was able to stay awake longer than "Santa" but Santa has an alarm clock that woke her up to fill the stocking after the kids went to sleep, lol. It was such a treat for all of us to be able to spend a few days together. I have to admit that Christmas Eve night I did lay awake for a long time next to Micah and I rolled over and over in my mind how thankful that I am and how blessed that I am to have these wonderful, beautiful and healthy children. The fact that I might have none of them made my heart overflow with thanksgiving. Having children was not easy for me and every one is a true gift from the hand of God. And as hard as having children was....keeping them was even harder. But every step of the parenting journey was taken with love. Many of them were taken in faith. Many of them were taken with hope. Many of them were taken through tear dimmed eyes but all of them were taken in love. As we embark on a new year so many memories wash over me. The memory of me standing in the hospital with a little red sleeper in my hand waiting for the birth of my first child. We did not know what sex that the baby would be, but her birth mother knew. She kept it a secret because Johnny said that knowing whether it was a boy or a girl was like opening your present before Christmas. Well, I was sure that it was going to be a little boy but a few hours later there I was holding a tiny red headed little girl and wondering if I could really be a mom. So quickly that little bundle of joy grew up. You are teaching them to sit up with pillows all around them one day and it seems upon the next suns rising that they are enrolling in college. It is all to fast. Then came Beau. I felt so sorry for my baby's birth mother. She was so small and it looked like she had a netted dolphin in her tummy. We found out that he was a boy before he was born and he was sure an active boy. He was so beautiful. People would stop us and comment on how beautiful that he was. He still is beautiful. Inside and out he is beautiful and his name means handsome or beautiful. He was all smiles and no clothes. I had to wonder if he would ever want to wear clothes. He would run around like a naked wild Indian. He grew so much too......and he wears clothes now. Then came Micah. Grown in my own belly. My first thought when I looked in his face for the first time was," I have three children". I had been told that I would see that I had not really been a mother until I gave birth to my "own" child. How wrong that person was. The only thing different was that I realized how much that Stacey and Beau are mine. Truly mine. My kids and no flesh of my flesh would be closer. But it was fun to watch Micah grow. He looked like me but acted so much like his dad. Our family was complete. Two parents, three children and a managerie of animals that changed often. And then five and a half years ago life shifted. Cancer happened and kept happening. Our family changed. Micah and I lived in a hospital or motel and my husband and daughter and son lived at home. I missed them. I have holes in my memories during these years. But Micah and I became soul mates. So close. And now here we are all back together and enjoying life. No day is taken for granted anymore. We have been so empowered to gain this wisdom....

Every morning could be the last one so watch the sun rise, ooohh over cool spider webs with dew on them. Sing on the way to school/work. Say,"I love you". Every afternoon could be the last so play ball, cards, tag. Go for a walk. Make kool-aid. Sit on the porch and watch the sun sink in the sky. Build that fort. Say,"I love you". Every night could be the last so tuck them in tight. Read that story. Hug them again. Smell their hair. Watch cartoons. Say,"I love you". There is no promise for our next breath so with this one I will say,"I love you". We plan like we will be here forever but live like it is our last day. What a wonderful experience that our lives are. At this years end I find myself counting my blessings. How is the year ending for you?

Much Love,

Micah and Angie