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Welcome to our CaringBridge website. Get started by reading the introduction My Story. We've created it to keep friends and family updated about our loved one.
Visit often to read the latest journal entries, visit the photo gallery, and write us a note in our guestbook.Dear family and friends, welcome to my latest chapter. It was two weeks before my 36th birthday when everything changed. On June 10th, I woke up with a huge mass in my armpit and by June 15th, I was told I had stage 2 breast cancer. Then on June 26th, I received a fax that the cancer has spread into my bones and possibly the liver. So, the fight begins...kick cancer's ass!
As some of you know, the man upstairs has thrown some tough health problems at me since I was a child, but this one is going to be the fight for my life. In reality though, this fight isn't just for me. It's for Niomi most of all and then Gary, my mom, dad, brother, grandma and everyone else that is in my life.
I said to my brother last week, why is it always me and he said he didn't know and it wasn't fair, but what I do know is I have beat the odds on EVERY challenge that the man upstairs has thrown me and I have beat him everytime...this will be no different! I will kick the cancer's ass....that is the theme... Kick its ass!
On July 17th, 2007, the greatest miracle in my life was born at 4:19 p.m. Niomi Tyler Thomas, 18 inches and 5.7 lbs. She was perfect! They told me I would never have a baby and here I was holding her. I beat him, but then he decided to throw post partum at me which destroyed me, but once again, I climbed back up and landed on my feet...so again, F*CK off! I always said...if I can beat that, I can beat anything and then he throws cancer at me almost two years later.
I sometimes question him...I'm a nice person, I live for my family and friends, I will do anything for anybody, so why does he keep doing this. Sadly, there are no real answers, but I know I must keep going. I know the road ahead in this chapter is going to be the toughest, but I will beat it. When I am bald, I will beat it...when they take my perfect boobs, I'll beat him again and if they decided they need to cut a piece of my liver, I'll beat him again because I know it grows back.
I honestly want to scream F*CK YOU sometimes to whoever it is up there and cry, but that won't take away what is happening. It will only make me stronger. My family and friends are going to make me stronger and I will NOT let Niomi see me weak!
Gary and I are so lucky that I have the best parents in the world who are there thick and thin and will never leave my side. When I am weak, they will take Niomi so Gary can pick me back up. She's my angel and this fight is for her!
When they told me the diagnoses, I said, wait a minute, I have a 2 year old...you can't do this to me! It's just so unfair and everyone keeps telling me how strong I am. I am...I'm tough, but sometimes, I'm allowed to let it out. And sometimes, I just want to be left alone and think about the other things in life.
This all happened as Gary was getting promoted to GM in NYC. I was SO PROUD OF HIM as this was on his dream list and he did it! Then a few days later, the celebrating ended as we had 2 big balls thrown at us. But together, side by side, we are going to make NYC a wonderful home and fight this ugly disease and he is going to be the best GM in NYC and his team is going to be so lucky!
I've said that during this time I will learn who my friends are and that still holds true, but my advice to all...stop sweating the small stuff. It doesn't really matter. If someone burned you or breaks your heart...it sucks and you can cry and mope about it for a few days, but after facing this I have realized, don't dwell to long as they may throw a much bigger curve ball that you can't just fix by mental healing. So, when I am healthy and if I ever harp on something dumb or little...please tell me to get over it...or if you are sad and confused, think about me and the millions of other men, women and children out there that have this ugly cancer and try to put life into perspective.
This is my story. I guess its the start of my 36th year...I never think about what's ahead when my birthday comes around, but 36...this is the year for my battle. On my 37thbirthday, I am praying I will be in remission and that I am dancing down the streets of NYC or spending my birthday as I did this year with Niomi swimming in the ocean laughing.
Through this site, I am going to send updates and you can follow me around. It's easier than me emailing everyone or forgetting to include someone in an email.
So, this is my wish to all of you...keep me laughing, keep me positive and keep cheering me on. Let me cry when I need to, let me yell when I need to because my one promise to all of you...especially Niomi...I WILL KICK ITS ASS!