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Tomorrow is Kate's next MRI which will be of both her brain and her spine. We will be meeting with her oncologist late afternoon, so it's of some comfort to know we will find out the results tomorrow. Some scans I feel confidently expectant. Others, well, quietly dreadful. But I am well aware my feelings are quite untrustworthy. 

I think we have entered a new season of this journey. A hard one I'm not sure I was prepared for. There is no guide to walking through brain cancer with your child. And if there is I haven't read it. And I probably wouldn't anyway. It seems Kate has entered a new season of grief. Maybe it's her age. Maybe it's facing disappointments. Maybe we have all been quietly hopeful life would somehow return to what it was like, that all abilities would return. But she feels broken. In more ways than one. And that breaks my heart. I think she is now processing what she wasn't able to at 5 and 7. And grief has made its way to her tender little heart.  4 years and 9 months feels so long. Convincing her life might just always feel hard now. She hates that cancer has after effects. Just when she wins, she wonders if she really did. 

Thankfully she is astoundingly resilient. After a night of tears and frustration, she wakes up refreshed and somehow renewed. I can only think its a mercy God has showered on her. And so we vacillate between new grief and renewed hope. One day flowing into the next, unsure of which will come. 

We would be so grateful for prayers for her tomorrow as she has tasted that grief here lately. And that her scans would continue to show no signs of recurrent cancer. And no signs of blood vessel compromise or damage. And for her precious, weary, yet seasoned heart. That somehow God would encourage it unusually tomorrow and the days ahead. 

Thanks for continuing to care about her. We love her so.