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Latest Journal Update
As Joe and I reviewed the time-line since then we realized that when those medications increased, his anxiety did too. Doctors, and we, thought that we were treating the anxiety by increasing dosages but it looks as if we were creating the problem. Wednesday was Matthew's first day wihout an anti-depressant and while it should take three to four weeks to get out of his system, he didn't have one anxiety attack all day! Thursday was the same, although he was very shakey during therapy. He's gained some anger finally. Matthew and Joe met with our pastor's wife Tuesday night. Our pastor has battled cancer, and beat it with God's grace, for nearly three years now. He has been treated at Cedar's and was there for treatment Tuesday, his wife contacted me and the boys were able to visit with her as Pastor Dave was treated. I don't know what the conversation was, but I know it was meaningful for Matthew. By Wednesday afternoon he was searching for God in this, angry and frustrated with the situation and voicing his desire to "feel God's arems around me." To Joe and I this is Matthew searching for his own relationship with God, not mirroring ours. This is such a wonderful sign!
Matthew is scheduled to come home on Tuesday, this time Cedar's has offered to let him stay a bit longer because he's progressing so rapidly now. I'm almost afreaid to hope, almost afraid to share, we've been let down so many times. Then I remember how close to death my son has been, he's been snatched back to us more than once. God has a plan. We may never know what it is but it seems Matthew is nearing the healing we've been praying for so long. He turns 18 on February 10, I can't believe it. We continue to be blessed by the support of so many, those I work with and call my family, our neighbors and our church family from years ago and now. Thank you, I promise to contiue to update as long as I have news to report.