Nearly two and a half years have passed, the doctors at UCLA told us that by now all of this would be a memory. They didn't know there was Conversion Disorder. I don't remember what I have explained and what I haven't, but we think now that when Matthew woke up from his coma he was in a very young developmental state. We had no real idea at the time but it seems now that he was a small child again, now we know that happens sometimes. As he was going through this the doctors there saw the need to put him on "the ROCK." A drug that left him awake but paralyzed. It wasn't an easy decision, the doctors thought it was to protect him from harming himself as the effects of the brain injury made his movements random and uncontrollable. The trauma these things caused seem to be what created the trauma that his brain is now trying to protect him from.
Since he's been home from the hospital this time, the trauma of those experiences set him back again. He died, he suffered again, no wonder he's traumatized. He hasn't made forward, physical progress for the past two months. Add the stress of watching his peers go to prom, enjoy grad night and graduate and you have one stressed, anxious young man. I can't imagine what its like for him, I can't look at Facebook and see all the posts about his friends right now. We are happy for them, but it makes us grieve all the more for Matthew and his loss. In all honesty it makes me feel incredibly selfish, I'm embarrassed.
So, when it looked like Joe was about to fall to pieces again and I accepted Matthew's health was getting worse instead of better I called Dr. Z. Last Monday we saw her and she said its time to admit Matthew back into acute rehab, back to the hospital. Even though we expected it, the news was hard to hear. So, back to Casa Colina with a different diagnosis this time. They don't have a bed yet, I'm thankful for that. It means he will attend the day treatment program until a bed opens up. Five hours of therapy a day, with neither of us around. Part of the treatment means Joe and I are to stay away. While we were seeing Dr. Z. she witnessed a pseudo-seizure, she kind of brought it on actually. She said she couldn't tell if it was a seizure or not watching him, it looked like a seizure to her. Joe and Matthew told her to wait and watch. Matthew told Joe to put his hands out, Matthew took them, stood up and walked about 20 steps holding on to his dad right in front of her. Had that been a seizure she agreed he'd be asleep, not taking steps. Those actions, even with the atrophy his right leg is showing signs of, prove that his body can walk. Matthew's mind is in the way. He has to know that he is capable of walking, to realize it and make his mind stop whatever it is doing to him.
He begins tomorrow at the Transitional Living Center at Casa Colina. With the current diagnosis the treatment is different. Matthew's body hasn't been improving but his cognitive awareness and healing from his brain trauma has been improving, remember the poem? And, as our pastor teaches, we have a plan. We aren't holding on too tightly just in case God takes us somewhere else, but Matthew is ready to step out in faith. We are hopeful that this is the combination that changes everything. Once again we ask for your prayers. Pray that this time Matthew finds the key he needs to unlock the Conversion Disorder; that the therapists would have wisdom as they work with him and as always, we ask that you pray for his restoration and healing.