Hello. It is with much anxiety and heartache that I come here today to update. As you all know, it is almost one year that Matthew has been gone. One year since I heard his voice, one year since I nuzzled up close to him, one year since I heard him say" ma-ma, I love you". So difficult for any mother to endure the pain of loosing their baby.
I want to let you all know that Andrew, Amanda, and Jordan are doing well. They all made it back to school and are all so well adjusted. I want to leave something here for my children, actually they are the lyrics to a song. That song brings me back to a better time, a time before Matthew was sick, when we were all together in Florida. It is my hope that one day when there are questions my children will be able to read everything here. I love you all- Andrew, Amanda, and Jordan. This is for John too- I do love you.
My Wish- by Rascal Flatts
I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
More than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it,
To your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
Oh more than anything, Yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it,
To your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this is my wish.
So, there is a reason for me leaving this for my family. This will be my final entry here. After all, this was a site created for Matthew. To keep you all informed about Matthew, not about broken legs and poison ivy and about how huge our grief continues to be. I think that will never change, we will miss Matthew for an eternity. I do wish that each one of you that reads this will continue to remember Matthew, each in your own way. Remember him when he was well, remember his laughter and the twinkle in his eye. Remember how brave he was, how he kept fighting till the very end. And remember that he loved you all dearly, there was not an ounce of anger inside of him. A lot of you have asked if we were marking October 2nd in anyway. We are not, I choose to be alone that day. I would rather remember Matthew on his birthday, to celebrate his life, rather than the day he died. Please feel free to do what you want, be it sending up a balloon to Matthew or lighting a candle or just take a moment to think about Matthew, whatever is right for you is what anyone should do. Please write an entry for us, let us know what you are doing or if you have a special memory of Matthew- we will still read them. Or feel free to e-mail me privately. I will never forget the support from all of you and will always be grateful for all of you forever!
It is goodbye for now.
Matthew Ryan Cirincione
4-24-2001 - 10-2-2006
Forever five, forever brave and strong, forever in our hearts. And forever the brother that he wished to be.
HE IS GONE
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
David Harkins
