Today Albemarle County schools started school and Mason should have been starting middle school in the 6th grade. It was a tough realization for me this morning. As I watched my beautiful daughter get ready for school I felt something is just wrong with this. For the past 7 years, ever since Mason was 4 I got both my children ready on the first day of school. Mason would always be very excited to wear his new clothes, but especially his new sneakers. I can remember so many times getting him ready for school him being so independent getting up before he had to (he was an early bird like his Daddy) and getting himself dressed. Never would he coordinate a matching outfit and many of times he tried to wear the same clothes to school day after day. He was a typical boy. I would argue with him that he can't do that, he's got plenty of clothes not to wear the same thing day after day and that his outfits had to match. He was the kid that would put any designs together and just because they had one of the same colors in each article of clothing they matched (to him at least). His shoes were his pride and joy though, I'd find him in the bathroom some nights using MY toothbrush to clean them. He was a lot like his uncle Kowie when it came to tennis shoes.. My brother Kyle would wash his tennis shoes every night, they always looked brand new and when one piece of thread came loose from him washing them so much he'd make our parents bring him to the store and exchange them. Mason was like that with shoes too. They favored each other a lot, when it came to video games too. He would be in the hospital feeling horrible and not wanting to talk to anyone. When his dad would call sometimes he'd say I don't feel like talking, or when I would call when his dad was with him he'd do the same. It hurt our feelings, but we understood. Never would he say that when Unlce Kowie called though. He would get on the phone, perk up and talk for hours about video games, girls, his treatments, Kowie's work, whatever came to mind. It made me kind of jealous sometimes but I was glad they were so close. Uncle Kowie is now is expecting his first child and he and his wife Holly allowed Mason to name him Liam Clark. We are excited and sad about it at the same time. Excited for the joy we know Liam will continue to bring us, but sad Mason isn't here in the physical sense to love on him and get to know him. I know in my heart Mason already knows Liam, but Liam will be missing on knowing Mason and being taught all the things Mason and Monica's other cousins got to learn from him. :(
I know I'm rambling, but I felt I had to. It's just an emotional day, really everyday is and I try so hard to keep it in and pretend it's okay, comfort others and be strong. Sometimes I just can't be strong though. I miss my baby boy more and more everyday and I wish I could say it gets easier with time but that is far from the truth. I try to stay positive and think that with each passing day without him means one day closer to seeing him. I know I will see him again, I know he's in heaven and I know he will be there to welcome me and the others he loves so deeply with open arms and grace. The humanized antibodies at Sloan Kettering has finally been approved and the new trial started this week. I am hopeful that this will help many children but a little resentful it couldn't help mine. The nifutimox trial in Michigan with Dr. Giselle Sholler is doing wonderful things for our little Ryan Regan and for that I am so grateful. This disease is a monster, uncontrolable and unecessary. We have to really work hard to get a handle on it and fight it with all our power to save the children battling and those who will be battling in the future.
On that note, I will end with this. There are several ways you can help us in the fight. I will continue to be involved with fundraising for research of the disease for the rest of my life in honor of my beloved son Mason. I hope that you will too.,
My boyfriend Jim and I need sponsors for our run in the Marine Corps Marathon. He will be running the whole marathon (26.2 miles) and I will be running the 10K (6.2miles). Please visit our pages to sponsor us, even if it's just $5 dollars, we'd like to meet our goal of $1000 that we've set. Any help with promoting our pages to get sponsorship and sponsorship donations are greatly appreciated. All proceeds from the event will be going to research for neuroblastoma and families fighting NB who are in financial distress.
ALSO PLEASE DON'T FORGET THIS SATURDAY!! August 27th @ 5pm we will be attending the annual "SPLASH FOR A CURE" event through the Ishan Gala foundation. Yours truly will be speaking about our personal experience with the disease. It's going to be a great event. Please purchase your admission and raffle tickets now or make a monetary donation if you cannot attend. We also would appreciate promotion of this event this week on your facebook and twitter pages if you'd like to help in that manner as well. VISIT www.splashforacure.com or www.ishangala.org
All of your love and support is truly appreciated. I hope that the support we received while Mason was fighting will continue in the fight against neuroblastoma in his honor.
With love and prayers to all our fellow angels, warriors, family and friends.