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Very Upset and out of sorts. :(

Not doing so good. 
I was able to see the surgeon and had MANY tests done- had the complete set of Ano-Rectal Physiology. I am still in the midst of figuring out pain relief if you can believe that! Since the tests I had done I have a "tearing" sensation in my lower abdomen...not sure what is going on, but have intense pain. Very strange!! 

I am going to be scheduled for Rectocele repair done through my anus and rectum....and THEN after I heal I will have my huge surgery after I am healed....they will hopefully only need to take out my colon and attach my small intestine to my rectum, if all goes well. 

I am sorry I haven't been on much....I have been in pain. And nauseas and sweaty....it's strange. I also lost my van- I didn't have money to pay for it, and the company was unwilling to work with me and came and towed it yesterday. I am really in a huge bind and now don't have a way to get around. My life is not really that great right now. NOW I not only need aftercare for my surgery and money for that, but ALSO $1000 downpayment for a NEW van!! I was paying $380 per month and now got it taken.....EIGHT years of business and THREE cars bought from that auto loan company and they choose to take it now?! I am mortified. :(((

I couldn't be more stressed out if I tried and this was the icing on the cake. I am so upset and sick. And now my pain dr. is acting like a fool and I need to get OFF Butrans patch but he refuses to call me back. :( 

Life is not all that wonderful right now...I am so stressed out and don't know what to do. I am sorry I don't have better news. I wish I was happy but I am not only suffering internally, but also externally...My whole life is flipped upside down in a matter of two days....I was praying for surgery sooner, but my rectocele is HUGE and they have to repair that first, because that will impede my colon surgery and I won't have a standing chance to get off the ostomy bag once I get one...so I am glad he's being thorough, but I wish it was quicker than this...Now my surgery won't be until 2-4 months. :( I will have to suffer with intense pain until then I guess. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.