×

CaringBridge Needs Your Help by December 31st

Make a gift to CaringBridge in honor of Marie and you’ll help even more people surround each other with love and support this holiday season. Donate Now

Very Upset and out of sorts. :(

Not doing so good. 
I was able to see the surgeon and had MANY tests done- had the complete set of Ano-Rectal Physiology. I am still in the midst of figuring out pain relief if you can believe that! Since the tests I had done I have a "tearing" sensation in my lower abdomen...not sure what is going on, but have intense pain. Very strange!! 

I am going to be scheduled for Rectocele repair done through my anus and rectum....and THEN after I heal I will have my huge surgery after I am healed....they will hopefully only need to take out my colon and attach my small intestine to my rectum, if all goes well. 

I am sorry I haven't been on much....I have been in pain. And nauseas and sweaty....it's strange. I also lost my van- I didn't have money to pay for it, and the company was unwilling to work with me and came and towed it yesterday. I am really in a huge bind and now don't have a way to get around. My life is not really that great right now. NOW I not only need aftercare for my surgery and money for that, but ALSO $1000 downpayment for a NEW van!! I was paying $380 per month and now got it taken.....EIGHT years of business and THREE cars bought from that auto loan company and they choose to take it now?! I am mortified. :(((

I couldn't be more stressed out if I tried and this was the icing on the cake. I am so upset and sick. And now my pain dr. is acting like a fool and I need to get OFF Butrans patch but he refuses to call me back. :( 

Life is not all that wonderful right now...I am so stressed out and don't know what to do. I am sorry I don't have better news. I wish I was happy but I am not only suffering internally, but also externally...My whole life is flipped upside down in a matter of two days....I was praying for surgery sooner, but my rectocele is HUGE and they have to repair that first, because that will impede my colon surgery and I won't have a standing chance to get off the ostomy bag once I get one...so I am glad he's being thorough, but I wish it was quicker than this...Now my surgery won't be until 2-4 months. :( I will have to suffer with intense pain until then I guess. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.