As I think about today. It feels my heart with anger, pain, tears, joy, frustration, numbness, hope, trust, faith. It has been 6 years ago at 5:53 this evening that our families lives changed so drastically. The last 6 years have been full of so many emotions. I am so glad that God put the people of the scene that he did because of them stopping and doing what they were trained to do we still have Margaret. So Thank you to J.T., Donnie, Kevin and Malinda for being there. God knew what he was doing when he put everyone there. Thank you to all of our friends who have been there for us and for those friends we have met along the way. Can't imagine life without you all. I am always worried I will forget what Margaret was like before the wreck and I even cry for that Margaret who ran around doing cartwheels every where going look at me mommy take a picture!, Sitting in my lap until she would fall asleep and giving me a great big bear hugs which I miss so much. She was always by my side doing everything I did. She always helped my mom cook and was always by Pa Paws side when we were down there. As much as I miss that Margaret I have to admit I still have that Margaret with the exception of the few things she can't do. I just love her so much and I Thank God everyday for her, She always brightens my day even when I am down, she can bring a smile to your face even when you are at your worst, with those big eyes and contagious smile. Erin's post summed it up pretty much on the day also so I have copied and pasted it to the bottom of mine. Please always hug your kids and your family because you never know when life will happen. Thank you all for your love and support. Have a Happy New Year!!!
This day….this day is hard. It’s the day, 6 years ago, that paramedics told me that my baby sister had no pulse, that she wasn’t breathing, she was so hurt. I didn’t want myself taken care of; I wanted her taken care of. My physical pain meant nothing in that moment. The things I saw, the complete silence when I yelled for Margaret, begging her to just respond so that I’d know she was okay, the words I heard from everyone else. I had to believe that everything was going to be alright, there wasn’t another option. I sat at St. Mary’s refusing to believe otherwise. My friends, they did everything in their power to help me smile, despite the circumstances. You don’t think these things will ever happen to you, they happen to everybody else. I hadn’t heard much about Margaret until the hospital was ready to let me leave, I figured she must be fine since no one had said anything to me. Then Debbie Wood-Longanecker came to me, with MacKenzie Rose and Melissa Hatfield at my bedside, they all had tears in their eyes…I will never forget those words...”Erin, we need to tell you something, they don’t think Margaret is going to make it.” I broke into a million different pieces. The pain that comes from hearing those words, hearing that your sister is about to die, and you sit 30 miles away from her, it tears every part of you apart. So much happened that night; you sit in the waiting room for what feels like hours just waiting to see her, they tell you to call everyone to get them to the hospital so that they can tell your sister goodbye. I remember leaning over her in that bed begging her to fight, to stay alive for me. She did. She did. God had a new path of life set for us to begin at 5:53 pm that Friday night in 2009. He had everyone in place to take care of us and Margaret. This day will always hurt, but Margaret, I get to hug her, I get to hold her, I get to love on her; I didn’t lose her. She’s right there at the door waiting for me with that big smile on her face, and for a while my heart is okay. As I write this, the tears are flowing, if I didn’t have Margaret anymore, I would be lost forever. I want to be strong today...She makes life wonderful; I can’t imagine a day without her. She is my little fighter. I freaking love you, Margaret.