Since Logan's story is so lengthy, we have added it in the 1st 4 journal entries. We entered it backwards, so you can read from April 30th - 27th (Rather then reading from the bottom up, this way you can read from the top, down).
It's hard for me to believe that 11years ago right this very minute, I was sitting in West Allis woman's pavilion in labor with Logan. I remember it like yesterday. I never was so scared in my life as I was when he was born at 459am, all I remember saying is "why isn't he crying", "he looks blue", "is he ok"? They took Logan right away to the warming station and I could see them working on him and bagging him, then a team of doctors came with the incubator and off Logan went and I just yelled for Scott to follow the baby. It was the start of our journey that has changed my life forever. As I sit hear righting this, I can't stop crying, not tears of sadness, but tears of joy. So many nights throughout these last 11 years I have dropped to my knees and prayed to God that if I close my eyes and rest, please Dear Lord let my son still be hear when I open my eyes. So many nights I slept next to Logan's hospital bed, holding him and praying with all my heart, hoping that that night wasn't going to be the last night he hugged me, kissed me or said "I Love you Mommy". I was always so scared to go to sleep, I hated when night time came around. But Logan always woke up and showed me those beautiful blue eyes of his. He used to always tell me "it's ok mom, I'll be fine". He has taught me more in the last 11 years then most people will learn in a life time. He has taught me what a fighter really is, to never give up, to cherish even the small stuff, to never take anything for granted, to live life to the fullest, and that miracles can come true as long as you have faith. He has strengthened my faith so much. Every time he is in the hospital or getting ready to have tests and things he always cuddles up to me and we pray together. As I go to bed tonight I will be saying a prayer of Thanksgiving for all that the Lord has given me and thanking him for choosing me to be Logan's mom. LOGAN I know your Birthday is still 5 hours away (459am) but Happy Birthday Peanut, I love you to the moon and back and even more then that. I am so proud of you. Happy Birthday!!!! I don't know how many of you know, but Logan started off as a twin. We lost his twin about the start of my 2nd trimester (however we did not know I was carrying twins until I delivered, long story ), I did however carry the twin to term and delivered the twin in its sack. They took the sack over to a basin and told me it was full of fluid and a partially developed fetus (Logan came flying out after so this fetus that was his twin got forgotten about for the time being). We did tell Logan that he was a twin when he was older and told him the story and today he wanted to go buy a balloon and he wants us to wake him up at 455, which was when I delivered his twin and he wants to send a Happy Birthday balloon up to heaven for his twin. He has been asking alot of questions lately about his twin. Was it a boy or girl, etc. Sad part is, we don't know. I still regret not looking in the basin not asking questions, but our minds were so wrapped around Logan and his health we didn't really think about this other fetus till weeks later. My hospital records were also tampered with (another long story) so we will never know anything more then the fact that Logan was a twin, but we lost the twin and at 455 we will let a balloon fly into heaven to wish him or her a Happy 11th birthday from brother Logan and mom and dad. I just feel so emotional tonight. I wish I could just stop time. I don't want Logan getting any older and be is doing so good right now, everyone is good, healthy and I think it's a good time to just freeze dry these KIDS and leave them at this age forever, well maybe we can rewind Devyns and Tanner a few years and take them back out of the teen years lol
Well Thank you once again for listening to me go on and on. God Bless, Melissa and Boys