It is a rare moment where I get to express joy on this journey. Tonight, I experienced complete and utter happiness when I tucked my boys in.
I find that this cancer diagnosis brings either very big highs or very big lows. Tonight, I am elated that I was able to set everything aside and to appreciate the very little act of tucking my boys in. We snuggled, we had tickle wars, we talked about how much we mean to each other. The boys need me more these days as the reality of our situation sits in. I am just happy that we can take something that is ugly,sad, and hard and reframe it together. We all know in this family what matters most; us. We love each other and now spend time together to appreciate our shared experiences no matter how little.
I live in the moment each day, as thinking to the future is too hard and too painful. But on nights like tonight, I wouldn't have it any other way. My ability to appreciate what i have and the love I feel is priceless. I love my kids and my family so much. And there is nothing better than being able to spend my moments living and sharing those moments with them.