As though it were yesterday, I remember sitting in a Sunday morning church service at about this same time last year. About ten minutes before the service was over I could feel my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out to check the number of the incoming call. It was an area code that I was not familiar with, so promptly stuffed the phone back in my pocket. When the service was over, I climbed into my car, and pulled the phone back out to check the voicemail as I left the church parking lot. When I heard the voice on the message say, "This is the Worthington, Minnesota emergency room...." my heart sank, and I pulled into an empty office parking lot to return the call. I knew Chris and Lindsey had planned to leave my Dad's house in South Dakota that morning enroute to Michigan. I knew that I could not drive and return that call at the same time.
My worst fears were confirmed. Lindsey was on her way by helicopter to a trauma center in Sioux Falls, SD. Chris was enroute to the same facility by ambulance. No one could give me many details except that there had been a tragic accident and that Lindsey was non-responsive at the scene. I drove home in a state of numbness......making a few short calls to alert family and friends of the situation and to enlist prayer support.
A dear friend was at my house within the hour and spent the afternoon with me putting things in order to catch the next available flight from Sky Harbor into Sioux Falls. The reports from the medical staff at the emergency room in Sioux Falls were not good. As I sat on the plane that evening, I told the Lord that I wanted so much for Him to spare my daughter's life......but I had learned the previous year that whatever circumstance God chose to allow into my life.......whether it hurt, or was hard to swallow, or didn't make any sense.....would be "well with my soul". On that plane I surrendered my daughter to the Lord...although in my heart I knew she had always been His. She was never really mine to possess anyway.
So much has happened since then.......
A couple weeks ago Lindsey and I were looking over her calendar re: appointments and therapies. She made note that on July 22nd it would be one year since her accident. I was at a loss for words, as I wasn't sure if that thought was one of sadness, or gratitude and happiness in her mind. After the gap of silence between us, she said, "I think we should at least go out to dinner that night.". So, we have chosen to mark Tuesday, July 22, 2008 as a celebration of life and all that we have.....of things to be, and anticipation of good things ahead.
We have experienced delays beyond our control in getting Lindsey's new rehab program going. It had not occurred to me until today, but I guess that it is only appropriate to begin "Year Two" with a new rehab program. Therapists from Rehab Without Walls will begin working with Lindsey this coming week. The program will comprise the same Physical, Occupational, and Speech therapies that she underwent at Barrow's and St. Joe's Outpatient. However RWW is a home/community based program vs. a clinical based program. It is designed to make people function effectively in their own environment and adjacent community. Her therapists will come to her at home. The entire time Lindsey was at St. Joe's we had our eyes on another program......when the time came for her next level of therapy, the doors to that program were unexpectedly "closed", and Rehab Without Walls was proposed as an alternative. I am learning to step back.....God is God, and I am not. He always has a better plan. For the past several months, Chris has been working for the owner of a 20-unit apartment complex in neighboring Tempe, AZ. The owner has graciously allowed Chris to remodel a two-bedroom apartment to make it adaptable for Lindsey. Our plan is for her to begin spending part of each week at the Tempe location and part of the week here witih me, as a move toward an independent living situation. What better time to have a home based rehab program to help make that more effective!
Mountain Valley Church recently completed a five-week series on "Miracles". It has caused me to evaluate a lot of things. A friend asked me: "If God were to miraculously heal Lindsey overnight, do you think people would realize God's hand of mercy and power in the situation?" I think not. Jesus' own disciples......who for three years were His closest earthly commrades.....saw Him heal multitudes of people, feed thousands in one sitting with a couple fish and a few loaves of bread, saw Him walk atop the Sea of Galilee, and calm storms to keep them from drowning.....and yet they didn't "get it". It was not until He died, leaving them alone and disallusioned, and then came back to life that they finally realized that He was God incarnate. It took all of that for them to finally "get it".
I have come to realize that Lindsey is already a miracle.....in progress......and that God has provided us with countless small (and BIG) miracles throughout this past year. God does His best work in our darkest times.
I don't understand why it takes the brain so long to heal. But I know that it takes a long time to break an old habit, or to create a new pattern of behavior. If our lives were to instantly return to status quo, perhaps we would easily forget how faithful God has been throughout the past year. I pray that our souls be indelibly imprinted with the memory of how His faithfulness is renewed every morning.
" For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men...." (I Timothy 2:5-6).
Lindsey's brother very aptly composed the opening statement on this website.....we can't control the circumstances in our lives.....only the way we react to them. So here is to great progress for you, Miss Lindsey, as you enter year two. To God be the glory.
