hello out there. it's a snowy, peaceful night out here at the farm. it's been a week since LEAH left us and it is one week from today that will be her memorial. in the past week, many feelers have been put out and nearly all are coming back with just one question, "what more can i/we do"? simply amazing....so as i sit here, on this quiet, snowy night, listening to many of LEAH'S favorite songs, i'm reminded of our one main difference in musical taste-she absolutely loves her sad, weepy, depressing, minor chord, downer singer/songwriter stuff. me, i prefer a little more bounce, guitars and major chord silliness. of course we always agreed to disagree. what makes a song personal, is a "personal" thing.
one of the many sadness' of Leah's disease was her diminished capacities for so many, many things, but for me one of the hardest, was her setting music aside. what was, for nearly our whole time together, a daily indulgence, slowly faded to just rare moments. whether she grew disinterested (though i think not) or lost concentration (possibly due to the truckload of drugs and chemicals) or maybe the music was a painful reminder of a former, fading life, i can't say for sure, though i hope she explains it to me at some point.
anyhow, her final wishes, did include music.
location-she asked, if possible, to have her memorial at the cedar cultural center. she had no second choice. (we went to our friend, Tom Cesario's memorial there and she always used that day as her template). so, when contacting the cedar, we were informed that there were no weekends available until some time in feb. then, we were informed that there was a cancellation on fri. jan 4. we jumped on it. (we joke that Leah, after visiting our friend SLIM, headed over to the cedar and erased the friday booking, so she could have the first friday of the new year).
she said-NO VIEWING, NO CHURCH
she asked that we have a slide show and to include the hundreds of pix she has "flagged" as special.
some songs to be played:
-JUST THE MOTION-RICHARD THOMPSON
-DEEP FORBIDDEN LAKE-NEIL YOUNG
-HOW GREAT THOU ART(played at Grandma J's funeral)
then she said, "just play my favorites playlist on the ipod"
(which is the above mentioned sad songs)
speakers-she asked her brothers Greg and Jaime to speak and her "bestest" friend Dana to read
flowers-NO ROSES, NO EXOTICS.
WILDFLOWERS-daisies, cone flowers (echinacea), black- eyed susans,yarrow, gayfeather, sun flowers
(this will depend on the season and i want it so
that people take flowers with them when they leave, so rob's not stuck with a van full).
decore-NO BUTTERFLIES. I AM SICK OF BUTTERFLIES. BUT IF PEOPLE BRING THEIR OWN, THAT'S OK.
food-ask Dawn (Fabulous Catering).
live music-NO BANDS. JUST AN ACOUSTIC SONG OR TWO.
so as she's dictating this to me, i'm tapping my foot, slightly impatiently, and she says "that's all" and i'm like "are you sure"?
she looks at me for what seemed a long while and replies, "of course i'd love it if you'd play, but i just thought it'd be too hard for you"...
so i'll hopefully do some mammy songs she loved to play.
THE SHOW-her last request (not counting the dispersal of her ashes along her walking paths and our pet cemetery, which won't happen til spring) word for word from her journal:
It would be really cool if after my memorial there was a show at a bar/club. I'd like it if THE MAGNOLIAS played 1st because Rob and I met because of them. Then I'd like the TISDALES to play because Rob and I both love Richie and have been going to see his shows since the GLENRUSTLES. Then I'd like ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO to play because he is one of my favorites. Rob likes him too. It would be beautiful. Of course, I'd want the MAMMYS to play if they wanted to but I don't think Rob would. Also, it would be amazing if NEIL YOUNG was there but that's not realistic.
(so there ya go john & rich, maybe a show out at the farm someday)
lastly-keep it simple.
so there ya go. it's still lightly snowing, i'm still listening to her "sad " songs, though i must say, she has great taste in music and, of course, most all things.
i've started receiving mail addressed to rob instead of rob & leah. i assume the ones addressed to me alone are well wishes, condolences and sympathy related. i haven't opened any of them yet. her music is enough sadness for today. maybe tomorrow.
LEAH was very fond of-ONE DAY AT A TIME. so that's where i'm at. and i'm quite thrilled that here, at her end, the MUSIC IS BACK WITH HER. as the mammys sometimes sing.....
SOONER THAN LATER THE MUSIC WILL WIN
SOONER THAN LATER WE'LL DANCE AGAIN
much love from greenvale rob
Friday, January 4th, 2013
CEDAR CULTURAL CENTER
416 CEDAR AVENUE SOUTH
MPLS, MN 55454
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