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pain = 20 on a scale of 1-10

I went to the hospital this week with excruciating uncontrolled pain.  I went to the Baylor Heart Hospital in Plano and they said there is nothing wrong with my heart!!??!!  DOH!!  SO glad I didnt have that heart surgery then!!  Sheesh get your story straight people. 


I am really scared the cancer is back... its the same type of pain.  The oncologist nurse says its just healing pain that the neural pathways are reforming and its painful.  The heart place in Plano says its from my expanders and I sholuld go see the plastic surgeon.  The cardiologist says it isnt heart pain although its in the same place as my heart, and down my arm where the metastisis was.  This is the exact same pain I had before I was diagnosed when I went to the ER and they said it was a panic attack.  Hell yeah I am paniced it is excruciating and everyoen just blows me off.  Well not entirely because they did give me some strong vicodin at the heart place and told me to go to my general practioner.  I called and the Dr I have had for 12 years left Parkland while I was having cancer treatment at Baylor.  I just cant seem to catch a break.  I have had 5 7.5 mil vicodin today and cant sleep because the pain is still too bad. 


Next week I am going to go to the plastic surgeon and call the oncologist and see what they say.  Of course I was offered a really sweet job this week that I had applied for several weeks ago when I didnt feel like I was dying at the time.  Its really hard to stay positive when it feels like my whole life is just passing before my eyes.


At least Sarah and I got to go to church today and we have made a really strong committment to go every weekend.  I hope to be able to talk Dylan into going with us too soon.  Sarah wants to be baptized this next weekend and I hope I can pull it off!  Ah well enough of my ramblings, thanks for reading and please keep us in your prayers.