7 years ago I held an innocent baby in my arms never thinking he wouldn't be with me today to celebrate his 7th birthday! Today he would have been my champion for making it to Grade 1, but even though he is no longer here, he still stays my Hero! There are only 2 days I cannot face in a year and that would be his birthday (today) and his date of passing. I usually stay so strong, but once I heard how many people visit his cremation stand in Phalaborwa, it just broke me and I have cried a few good tears today.

I must admit it is getting easier but the pain is as strong as ever. My daughter reminds me so much of Kyle and although it is a good thing, it is also heart breaking. I see him in her all day every day.

I still feel conused and angry at the same time, but also happy that he suffers no longer as I have been diagnosed with SLE and my body functions are slowly deteriorating. It is treatable but not curable. I have now had to go under extensive testing to see how progressed the disease is. According to histology, I have suffered from this disease for more that 4 years and that it is now full blown. So in a way it is just as well in a miracle way that Kyle went home, otherwise how could I look after him and try save my own life? I am I wrong to feel like this? I just wish the devil will leave me alone, as I and my family have suffered do much. Terminal disease have become apart of our lives and enough is enough.

Hope all is well with you all!