I have always said that this blog would not last forever and I think that it is time, finally, to say a final and loving farewell. This Caring Bridge site chronicles a chapter of my life so precious and dear to me and it has been calling to me for some time now. Not to continue offering new topics and further family updates, but to quietly bid farewell. To wrap the words with a bright red Christmas bow and allow it to stand on it's own as Stella, Evelyn and I venture into the waters of our new family's future.
Finally I can authentically say that some days I see a strange 'completeness' in the family that I have. Instead of a deep dark hole where Kevin belongs, there is a bright shiny love and admiration for who he IS (not was) in our lives today. I finally feel certain that his presence in our lives is perminant, real and so very influencial that it will never dissipate, as perhaps I feared until recently. While there are still many moments of lonely tears and single-parent frustration, I do believe the three of us comprise a complete (although very different) family. And I think that would make Kevin proud! We are finding our way slowly but surely.
I am beginning to know who I am and I continue to pray that God's loving hands form our family into what we are supposed to be...and me into the woman and mom I was meant to be. Clearly, I am NO different than any other adoring parent or loving spouse. I have simply had experiences that many other young moms have not and I am willing to trust and have faith in God's perfect, infinite plan despite my limited human understanding....and, well, I happen to feel compelled to 'talk'! Because of that, I have chosen a next chapter in which to share myself online with a prayer that I might give just one person hope, inspire one person to live better or make one person think again about the blessings abounding on this side of heaven. There is a blog and a Face Book page. www.katieoldham.blogspot.com and www.facebook.com/missfitkatieoldham if you feel compelled to visit me.
But as far as the Caring Bridge goes, it has been a place to share, vent at times and to create a history for Stella and Evelyn. So, my message to them: Here my sweet darlings, are pieces of the heart of the family that you were born into. You were born of love, committment and faith. You were welcomed into the arms of a Mommy and a Daddy who not once took your little lives for granted...you were wanted, adored and loved beyond measure the day that you were born and you are still so completely cherished. Know that your parent left here to raise you vows to always do the very best she knows how for you and that you are my absolute bliss. I will restate the prayer that your Daddy used to pray (he said it frequently and his own hand wrote it in a journal for you), 'God, please protect the hearts of these little girls every day of their lives. Give them health, love, patience and above all give them faith.'
This has been a place where I have felt safe, welcome, encouraged and incredibly supported. That is thanks to anyone who took the time to read, write or utter a prayer.....so, with a huge smile and a heart filled with gratitude I say: THANK YOU!!
Part of me feels sad to officially stop here. But another part or me feels relieved and excited that I feel it is the right time.
Blessings and Merry Christmas to anyone who might see this!!
With all my Love and Appreciation,