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Kerry’s Story

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Latest Journal Update

Happy Cancerversary!!!


Who would have thought there was such a thing but here we are and if you google it...there it is in the whole cancer world that I found myself in one year ago.  You see a Cancerversary is different for everyone it could be the day you were diagnosed, the day you stopped treatment for me it is the day I considered myself cancer free...May 20, 2013...the day I had my bilateral mastectomy. There are times I can't believe it's been a year and other times of course it's been a year...I have had so many milestones...a year since my mammogram, a year since my biopsy, a year since that dreaded call that changed my life.  I remember my sister Tracey saying text me when you hear ...if you are okay text me "good" if not text me "bad"....I wasn't sure I had the heart to do it so in went "kind of bad"...my phone rang in thirty seconds...bad...infiltrating ductal carcinoma...yuck...doesn't even sound good.  But in a short amount of time and a lot of doctors appointments and here I am one year later celebrating my Cancerversary...cancer free.  I asked Tracey this morning should we celebrate my Cancerversary on the day of my mastectomy or the day Dr. Golshan called and said they got it all...she said undoubtedly the mastectomy....so May 20th will be forever etched in our brains...I said to Tracey just got to get to three and then five years....2016 and 2018...Tracey said...we gonna have another party at 3 or 5...I said at both!  When travelling to school with Gabs this morning I reminded her what we were doing exactly a year ago...that today was a Cancerversary...I said just gotta get to three years...she said "this could come back??"  Oops...not how I wanted this conversation to go. It didn't dawn on my children wouldn't realize it could come back.  I said this is not coming back and she gave me a high five...good save mom...I think.  I am six months out of chemo with bloodwork great...all in normal range...blood counts good...liver and kidney functions good...I can see (with glasses)...I know longer have the wen on my head...I can hear...I have breasts...we keep joking that I was rebuilt in the last year...the Bionic Woman...but again those are the physical things...there is much more.  The stuff that is more important on the inside. I work hard to remind myself what the last year was like.  The important things.  The blessings that were so clear and abundant the last year.  I remind myself these things when I stress and sweat the small stuff. When I let the petty and very small things in life get to me.  I remind myself where I was a year ago...stuck in the house...raining...not being able to lift my arms over my head.  There were no showers and no chores...I relied on my friends and family to visit and break me out of the house...the lunches and pedicures with my friendly nurse who was willing to make sure it was all okay.  So this weekend I will cherish my Memorial Day weekend because I will remember vividly where I was a year ago and where I am today.  How lucky I am to be alive and not sick...to be able to enjoy soccer games and lacrosse games...to golf oh how lucky I am...so tonight I quietly celebrate my Cancerversary...one year cancer free...



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2 Comments

Kerry Smart
By Kerry Smart
And Debi the same goes for the love I have for your family!! I have missed your last couple visits!
Debi Collins
By
Words cannot express the joy we have for you and the love for you that fills our hearts! <3 Debi, Tom, Dan, Kristen, TJ & Casey <3
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