OK, OK...here's your update.
I wanted to wait until today to write in this journal. Today is a very special day to Mike and me. Today is the day we became parents 12 years ago - this is Katie's Gotcha Day. We always celebrated it with her and even though we don't have any big plans today, we wanted to share it with everyone.
Before I get to that, last Saturday night was really fun. We went to the Miss Florence and Miss Greater Pee Dee pageant, where they gave out a Katie Krize Spirit Award. We had to go up on stage to present the award, and the current Blue Notes got up to sing. They weren't Katie's Blue Notes, but Ms. Perkins was there. It was amazing. The song they sang made me sob, and then I had to talk about Katie AFTER the song! It was tough. I have uploaded pictures of that night...see page 2.
The song was called "You are My Hero."
"What can you say to a hero? To someone who gives so much? What can you say to a hero? To someone who lives to touch?
We can say thank you. Oh, we can say thank you, thank you. We know God blesses you for all you did and do. We've seen your light shine through, and we are all blessed, too. You are our heroes.
What can you say to a hero? To someone who's always there? What can you say to a hero? To someone who lives life to care?
We can say thank you. Oh, we can say thank you, thank you. We know God blesses you for all you did and do. We've seen your light shine through, and we are all blessed, too. You are our heroes."
Thank you Queen Frances Kendall and Lynn Perkins - it was a fitting honor for our girl.
Now, onto Gotcha Day - October 11, 1996. The day started off normal enough. We had to go to DSS to sign all the paperwork, and they actually read us each word in the documents we were signing - I just wanted out of there to pick up our girl. We picked Katie up in the afternoon from Oma's house - there is a picture on the 2nd page of this moment. It was horribly sad for Oma, and very happy for us. Luckily, we did not break that incredible tie with Oma, and she remains one of our dearest friends.
We went home and I cooked dinner that night - spaghetti, I remember. We put Katie to bed in her new room. I had painted the walls with rolling green hills, a white picket fence, then made a huge house headboard actually painted on the wall, and it said, "Katie's House." She had a double bed all to herself. I checked on her almost every hour to see if she was still breathing. Katie was 2 1/2 years old! I guess every new mom goes through that.
The transition after that was relatively easy, although we had some ups and downs. After six weeks, Oma became our part-time day-care. Mike and I worked different shifts, so he would take Katie to Oma's then I would pick her up after work. She would cry when Mike left, be bad for Oma and cry for me - then if she was really bad, Oma would say, "I'm calling your Mommy at work!" and Katie would straighten up. Then, I would pick her up from Oma's and she would cry and scream for five minutes down the road when we left. It tore us all up (this lasted about two months), but we consulted with a counselor who told us she is just figuring out where her loyalties are. When Katie finally realized we all wanted her to love all of us, and that Oma wasn't going anywhere, and neither were we, everything was fine.
Right after she moved in, we threw a party for Oma and her family to show them where Katie was living. Katie had four foster brothers at the time, plus all of Oma's extended family. She was so excited about the party, but it started off badly. Once everyone was in our tiny house, Katie announced, "It's all mine - don't touch - it's all mine!!!" with this cackling laugh.
She was just the best child - so happy, healthy, energetic. The first three years with us were absolutely awesome. I think she went to the doctor maybe four times. Then the evil beast named neuroblastoma came knocking three years later.
The three of us are doing ok. Mike got a job, and he starts on Monday - he'll be doing customer service with Young Plantations www.youngplantations.com and then he starts Florence Darlington Tech in January to get a degree in computers - something he has always wanted to do. My practice is picking up, and Erika continues to do very well in school and in soccer (she scored goals in the past two games). Next weekend we are going out of town while Erika attends Camp New Horizons (a grief camp).
Sorry for the lack of updates. This website has always been about Katie, and sometimes it seems a little weird to talk about the three of us. We visited her grave today, and I left feeling unhappy about it. Not the place, not the stone - just a general unhappiness. I don't need to go there to visit her - I truly feel her with me 24 hours a day. She is a part of me.
Take care, everyone.
Love, Michele
