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Update from Kati

Hi FB friends....
I just wanted to thank everyone for the encouragement...the good luck, positive support, well wishes as I've went back to work. Its been very bitter sweet. Keeping busy....but knowing I am not rushing to go get my baby. I will never get used to that. This isn't getting 1% easier.

I also wanted to update on kari. She is doing ok, with her transition. Thank GOD for family and friends. We would be nowhere without all of you. 

Kari is struggling but is determined to retain all of her "normals" and I KNOW she will get there. Next week she will be starting her after care therapy... 

Despite everything possible reminding her of lydia, and the girls...she still manages to wake up...and keep her determination. And I admire that more than I could ever tell her.

This afternoon, kassi took her to get a lil pampering.... toes done...
An outstanding trudy swiontek, treated kari to her pedi. (Thank you so much trudy)!!!

Also, I have to give mom and jack some much deserved credit and appreciation. They are devoting their lives to get kari to therapy...appointments, errands, and just being there for her all the time, and everytime she needs them. It is above and beyond...and they deserve sooo many thanks.

Luke peper is slaving over a hot stove, wearing his apron....making chicken alfredo for kari and easton tonight. Nice for her to get "away from mom". Haaaa. We love u our devoted peper family!

Missing our girls, more than....words. its really sinking in that this is real. And its a reality that I'm unable to accept, face, comprehend, or recover from. I just don't see "time" or any amount of talking...therapy... nothing, will heal this wounded heart.

Clara, your still plastered everywhere at my desk. And I struggle with it....but I would struggle more without it. I listened to one voicemail you left me at work. I can't believe how sweet and pure and innocent and captivating, soothing your voice is. It ripped my already shredded heart into finer shreds, but it was a reminder how sweet you sound.

Lydia, I have voicemails saved from you....on my cell.
I can't bring myself to listen to them yet....I remember that one was about a birthday party you were at and u had sparkles in your hair...
And nails painted...and u were coming to my house that weekend.
I think you were 5 or 6. And YES I still have it saved.

Laynie, I have a goofy message from you too saved. You said tee,tee... hello....tee-tee, then you said to your mom..."mom she's not there" it was from age 3 or early 4. And YES I have that saved.

I would lose my mind if I ever lost those voicemails...
So many others from clara on there too ...in time I will listen...
Thank goodness I saved them.

Girls, not 1 minute I swear to you....not one minute goes by that I'm not missing, crying, thinking, talking, looking at pictures, yearning for you all!!!

Love your proud mother and your proud auntie tee tee.
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Comments

4 Comments

Kay Fish
By Kfish
I know that we all suffer when people we love are hurting...I don't even know you an I hurt for you. I know this may seem silly at this moment, but get those messages saved to some other device also, so you do not lose them to Cyber space. I have a sister who lost important stuff that can not be recreated.
My deepest wishes that you an your family will continue to find some comfort in knowing you are not in this alone. Baby steps <3
Anny Rustad
By
We continue to prayer for all of you! Please know that many, many people are sending their love, prayers and support to you during these very dark days. The memories of your beautiful angels will never be forgotten! Ever! God wrap his loving arms around you all...
Kim Belisle
By Kim Belisle
I continue to think of all of you! I cannot imagine the ache and the voids in your lives! God Bless all of you!
Judy Parker
By Judy Parker
Big hug to all!!!!!!