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Latest Journal Update
The Holiday season is in full swing and we are holding our breath promising each other to be positive, strong and together (PST). Seeing your tree over in the corner with the lights on is tough. Mom did a great job finding ornaments that fit the “Justin Tree” theme. We all talked and agreed to make your tree the permanent tree in the dining area; what do you think? It’s funny how I remember the little things… how every morning you came down the stairs and went around the house lighting up all the decorations and how you loved starting all the musical figurines at one time…okay, maybe it was me who did that.
I posted a status on f/b this past week; “A worry of a parent who loses a child, is the child will be forgotten...” Wow, did our support group let me have it!!! I was so touched by what people said. I really believe you will never be forgotten! I’m telling you, for someone who died at such a young age, you still were able to reach out and touch so, so many people lives. If I haven’t told you enough times already, I am so proud of you and how you handled life and the whole screwed up situation . Right up to the end you were a Superman… if there was ANYTHING any of us could have done to save you; we would not have hesitated for a second to do it. I’m sure you are as special in heaven as you were here on earth and God is lucky to have you. To be honest with you though, it kinda sucks for us. Like the verse in one of my now favorite song reads;
“Oh, how we cried the day you left us
We gathered round your bed to grieve
Wish I could see the angels' faces
When they hear your sweet voice sing”
I can’t believe all the people suffering from this horrible disease. In our family alone this year there are three people undergoing active cancer treatments (two of the three are under sixty) and one that finished her treatment (your mom) earlier this year. If I include you and Rudy, it brings the total to five people with two deceased. If I expand it out and include our little circle of friends there are several more warriors who are fighting the battle and unfortunately even more who have lost their battles. What the hell is going on??? Okay I’ll stop for now… but they need to find a cure and they need to find it now!!!
Depending on how things go I may write you again in the near future. If I don’t, please don’t think you’re not in every thought of every minute of every day. Oh by the way, did you remember your mom’s birthday? Can you believe she turned 50? I was glad to hear you stopped by and gave Melissa a dream- hug; you need to pass those out a little more often and to the rest of us. Jackie starts OU in January. I’m happy she is going into Child Life. I don’t know what kind of salary it commands; but as long as she is happy, it is all good. Don’t you worry, I am being nice to her…
Okay that’s enough for now I’m sure you have things to do and I am getting ready for bed. See you in my dreams. Tell everyone on that side we all say “Hi”.
Love you!!! (I called it!)